Holiday jokes
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?
Rapey Santa.
What happens if you play with Santa’s ball? You get a white Christmas.
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?
They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.
What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, they haven't got family.
How long was the owl trick or treating?
Owl night long!
Memes
So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.
The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"
Why do orphans love Christmas?
Because they build a home.
How do mountains get big?
They go trick-or-treating.
Q: Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
A: Because they're Santa's Starbucks!
Why was Santa Santa?
Because it was Santa! Hahahaha 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Knock knock. Who's there? Oswald. Oswald who? Oswald my Halloween candy and now it's stuck in my throat!
What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree?
Time to get a new Christmas tree! 🎄
Which month is the bus? December.
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
Halloween. The day we celebrate your face.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they have no Father's or Mother's days.
What does a stuttering Santa call Mrs. Claus?
A hoe hoe hoe.
Why do orphans miss Mother’s Day? Because they don’t have a mother to give to!
What do orphans get on Xmas?
Lonely.
I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."