Holiday jokes
What time is it when you eat a Christmas tree?
Time to get a new Christmas tree! 🎄
Which month is the bus? December.
Orphans have 362 days in a year because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day and no birthday.
Picture of yo mama last Christmas and the damn thing’s still printing.
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?
Rapey Santa.
This Jake
What happens if you play with Santa’s ball? You get a white Christmas.
What is an orphan's least favorite holiday?
Christmas, they wish they'd get parents.
Nun's worst holiday? Norfolk.
Nun's best holiday? Bangkok.
What do orphans get at Xmas?
Lonely.
What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, they haven't got family.
How long was the owl trick or treating?
Owl night long!
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?
They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they miss Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.
Why do orphans love Christmas?
Because they build a home.
So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.
The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"
How do mountains get big?
They go trick-or-treating.
Why was Santa Santa?
Because it was Santa! Hahahaha 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Father: "Fritz, light the Christmas tree!"
What does a stuttering Santa call Mrs. Claus?
A hoe hoe hoe.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they have no Father's or Mother's days.