why does the emo hate christmas the ordamonts get hanged and they dont
Roses are red Violets are blue If hes busy on Valentines day the side chick is you
Adam and Eve were sitting on the beach one day and Eve says to Adam let's go for a swim. Adam replies I'm not in the mood. She says ok I will go by myself. She puts her toes in the water and splashes around and says the water is beautiful come in and Adam replies na still not in the mood. Eve wade's into the water until she gets to her waist. Adam jumps up and yells at Eve standing waist deep and says Oh No now all the fish are gonna smell like that.
One man was very depressed cause he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grief. Suddenly with the head rise up he sees Santa Claus walking by. - Santa? he asks. 'Why are you early, it is not even christmas?' - ho, ho. Don't worry about me. Lets worry about you instead' says Santa. What is the problem my friend?' - I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house.' Santa: I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life and i'll give it to you-' Man: My first wish is i want my house back. Santa: Done! Man: My second wish is i want 1 million amount of cash in my bank account. Santa: Done! Man: My third wish is i also want my job back! Santa: Done, but before i actually give you those wishes, I haft to hump you. Man: Okey. Lets do it. So the Santa claus takes of his pants to hump the man. After they are done humping the santa ask the man: -How old are you? Man: I am 35 years old. Santa: And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!
Why do catholic Irishman in Ireland have a glory hole in the men's restroom inside their restaurants so they can give Irish kisses on Saints Patrick's Day
Santa gives a boy a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas, this upsets the boy. Why? Answer: He has no legs..........the boy has no legs.
On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me
12 tap ins 11 pointless dribbles 10 fixed league titles 9 missed penalties 8-2 6 dives 500million robbed from Barca 4 ucl semi losses 3 times he blamed higuain 2 retirements And a transfer to a farmers league
What do you call the day before Christmas Eve? Christmas Adam.
Where do pencils go on holiday?
Pencilvania! (Pennsylvania)
What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? We dunno she ain't opened it yet
What do you call a snowman that lives in Halloween? Snoween!
Who gave jesus his birthday presents every year?
Santa clause!
Santa claws have a child a bike and a football the child wasnβt happy why
He had no legs
What did the cow say to his relatives on Christmas day?
Moorry Christmas (Even though cows can't really have religions)
Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday? Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day. Teacher: Why is that your least favorite? Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive. Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Why do Christmas trees π like wheelchairs ? Beacause the have kids
Did you know what my grandpa wanted for christmas? A new ass because his one has crack on it.
what does the blind, deff child get for christmas
Cancer
Whatβs the difference between Santa and an orphan nothing they donβt have parents
Flip 1134 over on a calculator.
Happy holidays.
