Holiday jokes
Kid starts short-coming people in school. Teacher asks, "Why are you doing that?"
He responds, "I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas!"
"Jingle bells, Osama smells."
Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms.
What did Sarah get for Christmas? I dunno, she hasn't opened it yet.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
Answer: cancer.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
Yo mama so stupid, she said, "Where are my gifts?" on Father's Day.
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
What first went through Sally's head when the Nazis came? A bullet.
Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.
What did Sally get for Christmas? A bike.
A kid got a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. He was still unhappy.
Why?
The kid had no legs.
I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤
What did the gay guy say to his boyfriend before leaving to go on vacation?
"Do you need help packing your shit?"
The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.
What did your mom get for Christmas?
A big black horse dildo.
What car do elves drive?
Toy-yodas.
My Llama's cousin sucks at going on vacation.
He just stands there; "I'll pack uhhhh...."
What do you call the day before Christmas Eve? Christmas Adam.
How did Santa fit down the chimney?
He buttered it.
How many wives does Santa have?
Ho Ho Ho!
What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?
We dunno, she ain't opened it yet.
So Steph Curry and Lebron James went on a vacation, and Steph Curry said, "Try not to travel!"