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Holiday

Holiday jokes

Your mama so ugly, when Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said, "HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"

A German went to France for a holiday, and here is the scene. French border staff asked, "Occupation?" The German replied, "No, no, no, just visiting."

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    • Yo mama so fat, when Santa Claus went down the chimney, he said, "Ho, ho, hooooly sh*t!"

    Santa was asked to describe Mrs. Claus in three words. His response was, "Ho ho ho."

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    • Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.

    What does the child with no hands get for Christmas? Unknown. He hasn't opened it yet.

    What does a homeless man in New York get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

    What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?

    A pair of gloves!

    Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.

    Sally has no arms. What did she get for Christmas? I don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.

    My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"

    Santa gives a boy a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. This upsets the boy. Why?

    Answer: He has no legs. The boy has no legs.

    What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.

    How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.

    How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.

    What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"

    There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, "Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween."