Holiday jokes
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
Because he only comes once a year.
When it's April Fool's Day, go to an orphan and say, "Their parents should come back!"
Why can’t an orphan celebrate Father’s Day and Mother’s Day? Because they have no parents.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you.
Joe Momma so fat when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, holy crap!"
If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar? They don't have Father's or Mother's Day.
Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
Q: What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
A: Leukemia.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
What’s the difference between Santa and an orphan? Nothing; they don’t have parents.
When is Father's Day?
Nine months before Mother's Day.
What sound does a nut make when it comes alive?
Christmas!
How did the tree get sick?
It got tinsel-itis.
What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, she's still trying to open it...
"Eeee, is a time for a tree night out to a tree. 🌲 I can fly to the earth day to day day one night type and a walk in and a tree."
What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!
What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and my kid?
I only stuff the turkey.
Who is Santa's favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley!
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!