Holiday jokes
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar? They don't have Father's or Mother's Day.
Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
Q: What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
A: Leukemia.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
What’s the difference between Santa and an orphan? Nothing; they don’t have parents.
When is Father's Day?
Nine months before Mother's Day.
What sound does a nut make when it comes alive?
Christmas!
How did the tree get sick?
It got tinsel-itis.
What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, she's still trying to open it...
"Eeee, is a time for a tree night out to a tree. 🌲 I can fly to the earth day to day day one night type and a walk in and a tree."
What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!
What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and my kid?
I only stuff the turkey.
Who is Santa's favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley!
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!
I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!
Where would a snowman go on his days off of work?
Snowhere.
Happy new year! 🥳
What is a dog that is Christmas?
A Christmas tree dog!
Which month is the bus? December.
It’s Christmas. Merry Christmin. Merry Chrirismas. Merry Chrisis. Merry Chrsyler.