How can you help a llama on holiday?
Alpaca your bags.
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.
What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at 3 hoes.
Q: Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
A: Because they're Santa's Starbucks!
Guess what Sally got for Christmas? Gloves! Jk, she still hasn't opened it.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the Chicken's day off!
Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas? Herpes.
Christmas special
Me: Can you describe Mrs. Claus in 3 words? Santa: Ho ho ho.
Why does Santa not have any children?
He only cums once a year.
What do you call an elf that sings? A Wrapper.
What is a pedophile's favorite job?
The mall santa.
What’s the difference between grandma getting ran over by a reindeer, and a poor kid’s parents getting ran over by military tractors?
When grandma got ran over by a reindeer, the kids actually gave a sh*t.
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
What did Santa say when he got to the club? Ho, ho, ho!
You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
Telling jokes is snow problem.
This is my fidget spinner, I got it in my Easter basket.
Santa said my mom was good... But she is on the naughty list.
