A married couple are on holiday in Italia. They look at the Leaning Tower of Pisa. He says: - Look, honey, this tower is crookedly standing! She: - Shut up!
(Standing means: penis erection)
Have a great year!
A week before Christmas my wife left me. She said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore.
On Christmas Eve, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "All I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world."
On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.
What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, because his parents ran away.
Double whammy. Orphan jokes are like a kid with cancer; it never gets old. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌
Why is there only 363 days in an orphan calendar? Because they don't have Mother's Day or Father's Day.
Roses are red. He shows no remorse.
Santa Claus Has joined the terrorist force.
I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging.
Why do orphans go to church on family day? cuz they get to spend time with their father.
What's a depressed kid's favorite holiday?.... Christmas because everything is hanging.
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
Because he only comes once a year.
When it's April Fool's Day, go to an orphan and say, "Their parents should come back!"
Why can’t an orphan celebrate Father’s Day and Mother’s Day? Because they have no parents.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you.
Joe Momma so fat when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, holy crap!"
If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar? They don't have Father's or Mother's Day.
Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
Q: What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
A: Leukemia.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
What’s the difference between Santa and an orphan? Nothing; they don’t have parents.
