Hit Jokes

Today was the worst day ever. My Ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side my truck doesn't even have a dent.

My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheel chair, he is getting bullied but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself

What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit somthing brown and gross?that is bull crap

ME: i hit a orphan! MOM: OMG WHY? ME:not like they can tell there parents-

What a day yesterday was I got a promotion and my sisters killer was hit by a bus now I’m in a cast!

you're really hot, I wanna hit on you like the plane hit the twin towers

why did little johnny drop his ice cream? because he got hit by a bus

A man was walking home but felt tired so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap tap then out of the corner of his eye he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone the man said "you scared me I thought you were a ghost" the other person mumbled "they spelt my name wrong"

You get hit by a wave, but you don't get wet. Why?

You were hit by a shockwave!

What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Thumb nails.

What grade does Sherlock hits on girls from?

Elementary my dear Watson

A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person, when the police asked why he missed, someone said cause he gay.

He couldn't shoot straight

So at school there are these twins at my school so I folded two paper airplanes to throw at them once I realized I why it felt so wrong to do it I had already threw them I hit the north then the south one.

A Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.

But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share ?' ''Yes madam......My daddy told me a story about my Mom " "OK, let's hear" said the teacher.

"My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit". "She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife". "She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops." "She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."

Pin drop silence in the class !!

''Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story ?"

"Stay away from Mummy when she's drunk```......!!!!"