Hit jokes

*gets hit by a car*

Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"

Me: "Please...I need my...phone."

*opens twitter*

Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"

Why did the orphan cross the road?

So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.

So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD

What did the Twin Towers say when they saw the airplane?

Batter up!

What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?

They always getting hit.

The ball kept getting bigger and bigger...

And then it hit me.

Why don't Indians play baseball?

Every time they reach a corner, they make a shop.

Why are Indian people bad at Monopoly?

Because whenever they hit the corner, they build a shop.

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?

You keep the tradition of hitting black things.

What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?

The sound when they hit the windshield.

Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.

I asked an angel, "How did I die?"

"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."

So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.

Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.

You wanna know why the Titanic was split in half? The iceberg hit it from the front and back.

What did Sally get for her 18th birthday? A brick.

Why did she get a brick? She hit 18.

What's the same with a controller and a woman?

They both work if you hit them.

Why did Hitler die? He got hit by 'ler'.

Why couldn’t Billy go to school today?

The bus driver hit Sally.

Curry hits 3s, and Kobe hit 3 trees.

So, my mom has hit me with a flip flop when I was bad, and when I cheated on my girl, right when the other girl came in, a flip flop came flying in the room.