Hit

Hit jokes

Car Accident

  • *gets hit by a car*

    Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"

    Me: "Please...I need my...phone."

    *opens twitter*

    Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"

    Bus Driver

  • Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.

    Man's friend: Same.

    Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.

    Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.

    Man: Oh great heavens!

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  • Orphan

  • So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD

    Woman

  • I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

    Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

    Trampoline

  • Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.

    I asked an angel, "How did I die?"

    "Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."

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  • Hitler

  • So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.

    Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.

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