Hit jokes

Why did Sally not come home from school today?

Because she got hit by a bus.

Why did James fall off the swing?

He had no arms.

What happened when a hammer punished the nail?

He hit him.

My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.

What's the same with a controller and a woman?

They both work if you hit them.

I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks. The best part is when it kills people.

🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵

C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on.

It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

Gotta dive and cry some more.

It's Penalty time and it won't be long.

‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot.

Cry some more and dive alot. That all I need, because I got u my love, Penalty.

What animal is best at hitting a baseball? -- A bat.

What did the beaver say when it hit the wall?

Dam!

What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather?

The feather.

The rope stopped the kid.

Q: Why did Sally survive the car accident?

A: She hit an ambulance.

Yo mama so fat when The Rock hit her with a Rock Bottom, her big fat ass belly let all the pizza explode out of her belly!

You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.

Person: Uh okay.

You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?

Person: Addicted.

You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?

Person: Addicted.

You: What hit you in the face last night?

Person: Addicted... *laughs*

(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")

What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?

One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.

So, I walked into the kitchen and saw my mom had made cookies. I stole one, not noticing my mom was behind me.

So my mom said, "Put the cookie back, kid!" and I said I wasn't gonna eat it. Then she said, "Never mind, I'll get your father." So my mom said, "Honey, deal with your son; I'm going to the mall!" And my dad said, "Son, if you're not allowed to have a cookie before dinner!"

So he went into his room, and I heard the belt, and I was going to run, but I knew it would be worse. So he said, "This will be your punishment." As he was getting ready to hit me, I said, "Daddy, no, please, I wasn't gonna eat it!" But he said, "No, you won't change my mind, little boy!" Then he hit me. Thank you for reading! Stay healthy and stay safe in this time. Bye!!! Read more of my jokes; they'll probably be around the website!!

9/11 jokes just don't hit right with me.

He said he like Neymar so HIT THAT BOY LIKE FROM THE BACK!

Titanic hit a dimetrodon.

If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"