I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then your hard boiled, that’s all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be KITTEN me.” Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He B*NED her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
You know, I got a SKELETON, of these jokes, all are HUMERUS, yeah, this get’s Under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening, hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!
The pilot that hit the pentagon must suck at sex because he missed the hole
my dad hits me :(
3 blonde were walking on a path, the first blonde said, “Hey look there are deer tracks!” The second blonde said, “No way those are totally duck tracks,” The third blonde said, “Nuh uh those are” then they got hit by a train.
My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!" So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.
Mia: I'm Preganant Again Paul I Can't wait for you to come home. Paul: I Got a Tree to Hit on the Way
9/11
this is so sad can we hit 50 likes?!!
How do you keep a blind kid entertained? You take him to a stadium crowd then give him a bat and tell him to hit the pinyata.
my sister was hitting on my boyfriend im 11 shes 9 she said go f.ck ur self so i said : "ok thanks for the idea"
1:My grandpa died last year 2:What kind of cancer? 1:He was hit by a bus! its called bus cancer
You know whats the worst about having a daughter with cancer? You can't pull her hair when you hit it from the back
A man is meeting a client in Japan, yet arrives a day early. When night hit he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, yet the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says "What do you mean wrong hole!?"
You know I would tell you a 9/11 joke, but it just doesn’t hit the spot
i like trains *train hits him*
why did theautistic kid walk across a busy road?... He was chasing is mind and got hit my a car
Why did the wall fall over?
A drunk driver hit it going 90mph and died.
Stephen Hawkins died crossing the road, he was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
Jack and jill went up my ass to eat a big dildo but jack died cause he got hit by a brown thing
