Hit Jokes

There's a new game in the arcade where kids can hit raging paedophiles with a mallet: Whack-A-Jack, oh!

The pilot that hit the pentagon must suck at sex because he missed the hole

You know whats the worst about having a daughter with cancer? You can't pull her hair when you hit it from the back

so a blond and a brunet jumped out of a plane . who hit the ground first

the blond becase she had to ask for directions

If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orfan, what are they gonna do... tel their parents

There was a car accident and the cops pull up to the crime seen to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said what happened here she responded by saying a car crash. They then asked but how did it happen, she responded the cars crashed into each other. They finally said but why did it happen. The lady said oh i know where your going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas peddle the car goes forward and they both pushed it so they both went forward and hit each other. One cop said never mind ma'm and they stared walking away. The blonde lady then said oh and officers my computer froze do you think i should put in the microwave or in the oven?

3 blonde were walking on a path, the first blonde said, “Hey look there are deer tracks!” The second blonde said, “No way those are totally duck tracks,” The third blonde said, “Nuh uh those are” then they got hit by a train.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

a guy cut me in the lunch line, after that a rock was thrown at him by my friend.

How do you keep a blind kid entertained? You take him to a stadium crowd then give him a bat and tell him to hit the pinyata.

Mia: I'm Preganant Again Paul I Can't wait for you to come home. Paul: I Got a Tree to Hit on the Way

my sister was hitting on my boyfriend im 11 shes 9 she said go f.ck ur self so i said : "ok thanks for the idea"

9/11

this is so sad can we hit 50 likes?!!

There once was a woman who had 10 kids their names where: Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One'Hundred Everyone but Ninety died, she also had 10 kids. These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing, they had him for 2 years. Until he got hit by a car. Only Ninety's kids know about this.

My Cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the Dr. once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her. She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day. I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my Cat is a Democrat!

1:My grandpa died last year 2:What kind of cancer? 1:He was hit by a bus! its called bus cancer

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.

Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? here's a good example...

A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apperently) through out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. "why are you running?" "My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he's bleeding!" They three of them decide it's best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, "What's so funny?" "Grandma farted and the house blew up!"