History jokes

What do the twin towers and genders have in common? They used to be two, but now they're a sensitive subject.

Your forehead goes back to when Burger King was Burger Prince.

Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?

One thing is for sure, the victims from 9/11 died warm.

Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.

I suffered The Great Depression.

"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."

Last words of the mayor of Hiroshima: “What the fuck was that noise?”

I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone...

What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?

One actually finished a race.

Aboriginals around for 50,000 years invented the spear.

What did they find in Jeffery Dahmer's apartment?

Jack in a box.

My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.

Flippity floppity, women are property.

Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.

Your hairline goes so far back it went back to when Earth was created.

What day is international terrorist day?

September 11th, 2001.

Here is a jacket for my favorite Jew.

It says, "271032."

Michael proved anything is possible in America. Where else can a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman?

Boi, you're the reason the Great Wall of China is a thing. You're so ugly the Chinese needed to block you out!