History jokes
Why is America so bad at chess?
They lost both of their towers.
Why is Russia invading Ukraine?
«Мы хотим вернуть Советский Союз!»
Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.
What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?
“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”
Why can't dinosaurs talk?
Because they are all dead.
Memes
I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone...
Your hairline is so far back, even the slaves can't plant that shit back.
I suffered The Great Depression.
"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."
What do you call a dinosaur that loves sucking dino dick?
Sucks-alota-cocka-sorass.
What did they find in Jeffery Dahmer's apartment?
Jack in a box.
Your forehead goes back to when Burger King was Burger Prince.
What do the twin towers and genders have in common? They used to be two, but now they're a sensitive subject.
Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?
One thing is for sure, the victims from 9/11 died warm.
Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.
Last words of the mayor of Hiroshima: “What the fuck was that noise?”
Aboriginals around for 50,000 years invented the spear.
What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?
One actually finished a race.
Whoever killed Adolf Hitler is MY hero!