History jokes
Why is America the fastest readers?
They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
What's tall, has a twin, and is in Manhattan?
Nothing, Bin Laden destroyed them all.
Hitler was the most handsome man alive.
Everyone died for him.
Why did Hitler keep on f***ing England?
Because it had a Great Booty!
Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!
I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.
Who’s better, Bird or Magic?
What did the captain of the Titanic do before the Titanic sunk?
He nominated everyone for the ice bucket awards.
Hitler was a good man because, after all, he did kill Hitler.
Why is the wheel the best invention?
Because it's wheely wheely great!
I would tell you a joke about 9/11, but it would come crashing down on you.
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?
It has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Your hairline goes back to the Middle Ages.
They didn't burn witches back in the day, they burned bitches.
I heard World War 500000 in my parents'.
We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.
I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower?...
"Catch you later!"
How are genders different than the Twin Towers?
There are two genders.
My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."
Why were the Twin Towers sad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but got plane instead.