History jokes
America once was known as an Obama nation. Now we're known as an abomination.
JFK did a good job spreading around on his final speech.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The people in the Twin Towers, because they went through over 100 stories in less than 10 minutes.
I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him...
What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?
There is none, they both go up in flames.
Memes
There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.
Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"
Why is America so bad at chess?
They lost both of their towers.
Why is Russia invading Ukraine?
«Мы хотим вернуть Советский Союз!»
Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.
What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?
“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”
Why can't dinosaurs talk?
Because they are all dead.
New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.”
In America, you fight Ukraine.
In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.
I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone...
Your hairline is so far back, even the slaves can't plant that shit back.
I suffered The Great Depression.
"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."
What do you call a dinosaur that loves sucking dino dick?
Sucks-alota-cocka-sorass.
What did they find in Jeffery Dahmer's apartment?
Jack in a box.
Your forehead goes back to when Burger King was Burger Prince.