History jokes
What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?
“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”
My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.
Your hairline goes so far back it went back to when Earth was created.
Why can't dinosaurs talk?
Because they are all dead.
New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.”
What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?
One actually finished a race.
In America, you fight Ukraine.
In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.
Your forehead goes back to when Burger King was Burger Prince.
Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?
One thing is for sure, the victims from 9/11 died warm.
Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.
I suffered The Great Depression.
"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."
What did they find in Jeffery Dahmer's apartment?
Jack in a box.
What do you call a dinosaur that loves sucking dino dick?
Sucks-alota-cocka-sorass.
Last words of the mayor of Hiroshima: “What the fuck was that noise?”
I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone...
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.
Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.
He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.
What did the caveman say while seeing a reptile taking off?
Look at that dino-sour!