History jokes

Your forehead goes back to when Burger King was Burger Prince.

What do the twin towers and genders have in common? They used to be two, but now they're a sensitive subject.

Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?

One thing is for sure, the victims from 9/11 died warm.

Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.

Last words of the mayor of Hiroshima: “What the fuck was that noise?”

Aboriginals around for 50,000 years invented the spear.

What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?

One actually finished a race.

Whoever killed Adolf Hitler is MY hero!

Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?

A: They were both shot in a theater.

Flippity floppity, women are property.

My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.

Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.

Your hairline goes so far back it went back to when Earth was created.

I don't like making 9/11 jokes because every joke about 9/11 I make has a tendency to crash and burn.

Are you George Floyd?

'Cause baby, you take my breath away... OOF!

What day is international terrorist day?

September 11th, 2001.

Boi, you're the reason the Great Wall of China is a thing. You're so ugly the Chinese needed to block you out!

Justin: Hey.

Josh: Hey man.

Justin: Why only "man"?

Josh: It feels weird saying the r a c e y names.

Justin: I don't mind.

Josh: Okay, S L A V E.

Justin: Oh no, not T H A T one!

My friends were the pilots on 9/11, they told me, "Bro, chill, it's just a prank!"