History jokes
What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?
One actually finished a race.
Whoever killed Adolf Hitler is MY hero!
Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?
A: They were both shot in a theater.
Flippity floppity, women are property.
My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.
Memes
Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.
Your hairline goes so far back it went back to when Earth was created.
Are you George Floyd?
'Cause baby, you take my breath away... OOF!
What day is international terrorist day?
September 11th, 2001.
Here is a jacket for my favorite Jew.
It says, "271032."
Boi, you're the reason the Great Wall of China is a thing. You're so ugly the Chinese needed to block you out!
Justin: Hey.
Josh: Hey man.
Justin: Why only "man"?
Josh: It feels weird saying the r a c e y names.
Justin: I don't mind.
Josh: Okay, S L A V E.
Justin: Oh no, not T H A T one!
My friends were the pilots on 9/11, they told me, "Bro, chill, it's just a prank!"
Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!
Why were the people on the World Trade Center so pissed?
People, they ordered pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.
I wrote an essay today about Africa, and I FAILED even though I wrote a perfect rendition of the Hunger Games storyline.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, then they got plane.
These jokes are so dark that they picked the cotton!
The twin towers are like your father, they're both gone and will never come back.
The Twin Towers ordered a sesame bagel. They got the plane one instead.