History jokes
If the UK is 6 hours ahead of us, why didn't they just warn us about 9/11?
What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?
One was planned.
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?
Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.
How did Protestants perform in the 16th century? Well done.
I flew a paper airplane and I rate it 9/11.
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
Did you hear that Michael Jackson once got food poisoning?
He ate 12-year-old nuts.
Why were the Twin Towers disappointed?
They asked for a pepperoni pizza and all they got was a plane.
I'm in the year 1930...
The Great Depression.
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was such a good pilot.
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
Why is Hitler better than Biden?
Because Hitler gave his people gas for free.
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
The types you can have.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they bought a pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.
What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!