History jokes
How did the British lose the War of 1812?
They were out-Britshed.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"9/11."
"9/11 who?"
"You said you'd never forget!"
What is another name for 9/11?
A forbidden game of Jenga.
Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
Ben: I don't know.
Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.
What’s the difference between a Black man and a Jew?
One was born burnt.
Memes
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
Who was the most successful transgender and transracial person in history?
Michael Jackson. He grew up a poor, black boy, and died a rich, white woman.
A note for my History Teacher:
Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack Mr. Khan and give him a big fat whack 'cause his teaching's got lack, his system I will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack. I'll throw him on the clothing rack. On his seat I'll put thumb tacks, I'll break his momma's back... and he'll never come back.
How do you know America's bad at chess?
They lost 2 towers!
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
How do you kill a little boy?
You throw him between two Catholic priests.
What's the difference between genocide and mass murder?
Genocide is racist.
My dad died in 9/11. He was such a good pilot.
What's the worst part of breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice until she finally gets it.
Why did the plane cross the sky?
To hit the Twin Towers...
How many dead slaves does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently, more than 6, because my basement is still dark.
What’s the difference between Jesus and Maddie McCann?
One had the last supper.
How did we know Princess Diana had dandruff?
'Cause the police found her Head and Shoulders on the dash.
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.