History jokes
What’s the difference between Jesus and Maddie McCann?
One had the last supper.
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.
Sniff a liter of petrol. You'll go back to the dream time at.
Do you know why the Royal family can no longer play Monopoly?
How do you think Princess Diana died?
...Too soon?
What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.
What did the Nazi order from Wendy's?
Two number NEINs.
Which one of Lord Arthur's knights invented the round table?
Sir Cumference.
Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"
The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"
Johnny replies: "Sure."
After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.
Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"
The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."
After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.
123 bipity bopity 321. Women are property.
My Japanese friend told me a Pearl Harbor joke. I told him he bombed it.
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims because they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds. 😂
What do you call sex in the World Trade Center?
An inside job.
Why do people always talk about nine eleven???
My dad died that day.
He was a good pilot.
Hitler was a dic-tator.
Titanic jokes sink in. Pun intended.
Hey, I misplaced 2.1 trillion a few days ago, on September 7th, 2001.
There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
What caused the Great Depression? A lack of comedians.
So we all know why 6 was afraid of 7, because 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? It was in between 9/11.
What was the worse purchase America ever made?
Spending billions on two rice cookers in 1945.