History jokes
Why are all Asians so skinny?
Because last time there was a fat man a whole population disappeared.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Holocaust victim?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
What is another name for 9/11?
A forbidden game of Jenga.
My grandpa died in 9/11. He crashed a plane.
My dad died in the 9/11 attack. He was a good pilot.
I want to tell you a joke about 9/11... but I'm afraid it will be the bomb.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite holiday? 4th of July when they set off fireworks.
I wish they taught 9/11 at school.
It would make these jokes more explosive. 🧨
9/11, also known as the day football stopped.
"Another one bites the dust."
Why does Hitler need glasses?
Because he could Nazi.
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the optometrist?
Because she’s dead.
Is it a bird, is it a plane?
No, it’s a 9/11 victim.
What did the terrorist think to himself seconds before hitting the tower?
"Did I leave the stove on?"
Why are Americans bad chess players?
Because they lost two towers.
Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
[pause] You said you’d never forget.
Who was the most successful transgender and transracial person in history?
Michael Jackson. He grew up a poor, black boy, and died a rich, white woman.
A note for my History Teacher:
Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack Mr. Khan and give him a big fat whack 'cause his teaching's got lack, his system I will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack. I'll throw him on the clothing rack. On his seat I'll put thumb tacks, I'll break his momma's back... and he'll never come back.
A Chinese drunk and a Jewish drunk are sitting together on a park bench.
After finishing his drink, the Jew takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Chinese drunk.
"What the hell was that for?" asks the Chinese man, rubbing his head.
"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.
"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.
"Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.
The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Jew.
"Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.
"That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.
"The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.
"Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.