History jokes
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
What did the Nazi order from Wendy's?
Two number NEINs.
How do you kill a little boy?
You throw him between two Catholic priests.
What's the difference between genocide and mass murder?
Genocide is racist.
My dad died in 9/11. He was such a good pilot.
Memes
What's the worst part of breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice until she finally gets it.
Why did the plane cross the sky?
To hit the Twin Towers...
How many dead slaves does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently, more than 6, because my basement is still dark.
My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.
Whatâs the difference between Jesus and Maddie McCann?
One had the last supper.
How did we know Princess Diana had dandruff?
'Cause the police found her Head and Shoulders on the dash.
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
âGuards! Seize her (Caesar)!â
Do you know why the Royal family can no longer play Monopoly?
How do you think Princess Diana died?
...Too soon?
What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.
Which one of Lord Arthur's knights invented the round table?
Sir Cumference.
Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"
The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"
Johnny replies: "Sure."
After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.
Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"
The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."
After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.
123 bipity bopity 321. Women are property.
My Japanese friend told me a Pearl Harbor joke. I told him he bombed it.
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims because they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds. đ
What do you call sex in the World Trade Center?
An inside job.