History jokes
What did Caesar call a person?
She-Caesar.
Who discovered Africa? Africos Nandos.
Why were people sad when John F. Kennedy got shot? All he got was head.
Me: Mom, if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?
Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.
Me: Oh, okay.
Goes to school.
Teacher: How were humans made?
Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.
Teacher: 😑
"History's repeating itself. WWIII is coming, and the second Russia nukes the U.S., they're all getting fucked."
Memes
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered Domino's and got "gets".
Where does Caesar keep his armies?
Up his sleavies.
JFK's wife trying to grab his head be like "him in heaven." Why did I marrei her? Welp, time for a devorsin'.
Abraham Lincoln was a good man, he jumped out the window with his dick in his hand and walked up to a group of ladies and said I'm doing my duty so why don't you give me some booty?
Why did you scream? Oh... Helen Keller tried to cook... 😨
Q) What was the last pizza delivery to 9/11?
A) Two large planes.
These nine kids were being bullied by these 10 guys in an alley. So, I thought I would help.
It was 9/11 all over again.
What are the kids addicted to these days? Juulius Caesar (Juuls).
How does an apple fall from a tree?
I don't know, ask Sir Isaac Newton!
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Eventually find me attractive.
Yo mama was really the reason why the Titanic sunk.
Why don't you see any more fat Chinese men?
Because the last Chinese man was in WW2.
Do you know why no one speaks about George Washington?
John Adams turned him into atoms. John Adams was an alien.
What was the last thing going through the minds of the people who jumped out of the buildings during 9/11?
Their ankles.
I know Marie Antoinette jokes aren't funny, but they're nothing to lose your head over.