History jokes

What did Caesar call a person?

She-Caesar.

Why did England beat Germany in World War Two?

Scissors beat paper.

I joke about 9/11 because if I did it, it would have a tendency to crash and burn.

Who discovered Africa? Africos Nandos.

Q: Why did China take over Tibet? A: Because they china exploit foreign resources.

Btw, these are real facts despite the CCP's propagandist narratives. #FreeTibet #FreeHongKong #FreeInnerMongolia #FreeUyghers

How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.

We were talking about ancient ruins last week, so I said they can ruin your day!

Yo mama is so old that her first Christmas was the first Christmas!

Inela, your hairline goes so far back I remember seeing it in the stone age! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

How you guys not even know who did it? Hahahahaha.

Where does Caesar keep his armies?

Up his sleavies.

Why were the Twin Towers mad?

They ordered Domino's and got "gets".

JFK's wife trying to grab his head be like "him in heaven." Why did I marrei her? Welp, time for a devorsin'.

Jeffery Dahmer has two things: an RV and a pit.

What is different about the two is that one can't move and one has gas.

But what is similar is tha-

Wait, what is Jeffery doing? He has a knife, he is pulling men's pants down, he is...OH SHIT WHAT THE F-!

Sorry 'bout that......

Now, as I was saying,

What is similar about the two is that one has and is a cockpit.

Wait, a cockpit- JEFFERY WHAT THE F-!

These nine kids were being bullied by these 10 guys in an alley. So, I thought I would help.

It was 9/11 all over again.

Q) What was the last pizza delivery to 9/11?

A) Two large planes.

Abraham Lincoln was a good man, he jumped out the window with his dick in his hand and walked up to a group of ladies and said I'm doing my duty so why don't you give me some booty?

Why did you scream? Oh... Helen Keller tried to cook... 😨

Why don't you see any more fat Chinese men?

Because the last Chinese man was in WW2.

How does an apple fall from a tree?

I don't know, ask Sir Isaac Newton!