History

History jokes

War

  • Iran: We can beat the USA.

    Japan: You do realize we beat him in Battleship, and he dropped the sun on us.

    Iran: So?

    Japan: Twice!

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  • Titanic

  • What if the ocean just raided Titanic of its people? Like instead of it flooding, it was raiding it and threatened the passengers if they told, so they just said an iceberg flooded the ship.

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  • Date

  • Ever notice 9-1-1 (the number for the po-po) is the Great Date (9-11)... Hmmm.

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  • Friend

  • So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.

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  • Enemy

  • If I was in a room with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Hitler, and my greatest enemy, I would pour out the bullets and beat my enemy with the gun.

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  • Teacher

  • In the morning at 6:30 AM,

    Teacher: Who fought in World War I?

    Me: Trump & Biden.

    Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.

    After school,

    Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.

    "She looks at her clock."

    Teacher: And now I am sewed.

    Girl

  • A young girl was playing in the park with her mother when she asked the question, "Mummy, what's that building over there?" The mother looked at the prison, smiled, and said, "That's where the cotton pickers live."

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