History jokes
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!
Why is 4/20 such an epic date?
Because it's weed day, Columbine, AND Hitler's birthday;)
How could the German people fall for Hitler and the Nazis?
There were an awful lot of red flags!
Osama be like: "Fuck boys, runway is full, better use this tower!"
Unbelievable! When I searched “house of spades,” all I saw was a slave home!
You know, when women clean their nails with chemicals, no one cares, but when Hitler tries to clean Poland with chemicals, everyone goes crazy.
People often ask me what I would do for a Klondike bar. Well, I'd straight up put 5 hijackers on Flight 175 before it departed from Logan Airport at 8:14 a.m. on September 11, 2001.
Dude, all Hitler asked for was a glass of juice, but everyone misheard him.
Q: Why can’t Jesus make fun of gay people?
A: He got nailed first.
I wonder if [I] would have rekt Hitler in a 1v1 build battle in Fortnite.
Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?
Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
Why can’t Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.
If I was in a room with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Hitler, and my greatest enemy, I would pour out the bullets and beat my enemy with the gun.
Which one of Lord Arthur's knights invented the round table?
Sir Cumference.
I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone...
Ya know, genders are kind of like the Twin Towers.
There used to be 2 of them, but now it’s a touchy subject.
Who was the first anesthesiologist? Hitler.
Genders are a lot like the Twin Towers.
There used to be two, but now it’s just a sensitive topic.
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa’s clock; the clock hasn’t moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where’s Trump’s clock?"
"Oh, we’re using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it’s so true.