History jokes
Who was the meanest man in the world?
He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.
Why can’t Helen Keller drive?
It’s because she’s dead.
This kid yelled "Jenga" when we were watching a 9/11 documentary.
9/11, am I right?
9/11
This is so sad, can we hit 50 likes?!
Iran: We can beat the USA.
Japan: You do realize we beat him in Battleship, and he dropped the sun on us.
Iran: So?
Japan: Twice!
What if the ocean just raided Titanic of its people? Like instead of it flooding, it was raiding it and threatened the passengers if they told, so they just said an iceberg flooded the ship.
Why is the Tower of Pisa tilted?
Because it had more reflects than the Twin Towers.
Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys! Except that one headshot, but we don’t talk about that.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
'Cause they're dead.
Why were the people in the Twin Towers upset? They ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead they got plane.
What is the one sauce Germans avoid on their steak?
"Ajous".
If I was in a room with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Hitler, and my greatest enemy, I would pour out the bullets and beat my enemy with the gun.
Why can't a dinosaur clap? Because it's dead.
What do you call a bullet head?
JFK.
In the morning at 6:30 AM,
Teacher: Who fought in World War I?
Me: Trump & Biden.
Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.
After school,
Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.
"She looks at her clock."
Teacher: And now I am sewed.
A young girl was playing in the park with her mother when she asked the question, "Mummy, what's that building over there?" The mother looked at the prison, smiled, and said, "That's where the cotton pickers live."
What do Black people and chains have in common? Both work better with chains on them?
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.
Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale?
Because they have already lost 2 towers.