History jokes
How did Helen Keller die?
Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.
Why is the Pentagon mad?
Because it didn't get two pizzas, but only one plane pizza.
I'd tell you a 9/11 joke, but it'd fly over your head and into the Twin Towers.
Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they lost two towers.
What was the last pizza order at the World Trade Center?
Two large planes.
Memes
What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white?
Alive.
Why are Americans so bad at chess? Because they already lost two towers.
My granddad died in Auschwitz in WW2...
He fell from a tower.
If only Caesar hadn’t left home that day...
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
Why can't Americans trade with other countries? We lost the trading center!
What do you call a Roman with a pubic hair in his teeth?
Glad He Ate Her.
Why don't Romans find algebra fun?
X is always ten.
Knight HAHAHAHA!
What did the dinosaur eat when the dentist fixed his tooth?
The dentist!
A roman walks into a bar and holds up 2 fingers and says, "Five beers, please!"
What did Paul Revere yell during a full moon?
The British are cumming! The British are cumming!
What do computer programming and 9/11 have in common?
They're both inside jobs.
Whoever invented religions, they fucked up.
We got all kinds of retarded adults believing in mythologies.
What do you call a blind German?
A Nazi.