History jokes
Why is the Pentagon mad?
Because it didn't get two pizzas, but only one plane pizza.
How did Helen Keller die?
Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.
The pilot that hit the Pentagon must suck at sex because he missed the hole.
What do you call a Russian rifle that went 1 rank down?
An AK-46.
What was the last pizza order at the World Trade Center?
Two large planes.
Memes
My granddad died in Auschwitz in WW2...
He fell from a tower.
If only Caesar hadn’t left home that day...
Why are Americans so bad at chess? Because they already lost two towers.
Why can't Americans trade with other countries? We lost the trading center!
What do you call a Roman with a pubic hair in his teeth?
Glad He Ate Her.
Why don't Romans find algebra fun?
X is always ten.
Knight HAHAHAHA!
What did the dinosaur eat when the dentist fixed his tooth?
The dentist!
A roman walks into a bar and holds up 2 fingers and says, "Five beers, please!"
Whoever invented religions, they fucked up.
We got all kinds of retarded adults believing in mythologies.
What do computer programming and 9/11 have in common?
They're both inside jobs.
What do you call a blind German?
A Nazi.
So, y'all remember Hitler, right?
Ok, so I own a gun with Nazi rounds. I shot a guy who was entering my home who wasn't invited. He said, "Did you shoot me with Nazi rounds?" Then I said, "Do you mean 'nein' millimeter?"
What did Paul Revere yell during a full moon?
The British are cumming! The British are cumming!
Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys! Except that one headshot, but we don’t talk about that.