History jokes
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
What did Jessiey do?
Jump and make a explosionnnnnnnn, heyyyy gas!
What do you call a blind German?
A Nazi (not see).
What is a terrorist's DJ name?
Osama Spin Laden Dropping beats like the Twin Towers!
What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?
He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
Why can't Americans play chess? They have no towers.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
I wanted to tell a joke about Jonestown.
But the punch line is too long.
Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?
I walked up to some Arabs and said "Alawakba," then here came the second tower.
What is Hitler's least favorite fish?
Jewfish.
Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?
It was only 3/5 full.
What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.
"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”
George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”