History jokes
No, Stephen Hawking wasn't the first man to walk on the moon.
"We can't go under... We can't go over... Oh no, we got to go through it!"
Jokes about communism aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.
They were both druids.
How does Moses brew his coffee?
He brews it.
Memes
I would say a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't land well.
Did you know Helen had a playhouse in her backyard? Neither did she!
KK or Liv?
Teacher: Tell me about the history of Tsar Nicholas (blah blah blah).
Student: How should I know, that's his story?
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: 9/11 victims. They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
Who are the fastest readers in the world? New Yorkers. They went through 110 stories in under 10 seconds.
"Bippity Boppity Boop! Bill Cosby's coming for you!"
What do Marie Antoinette and 2005-2012 Korn have in common?
They're both Headless.
Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?
Rip Van Tinkle.
What do royals and hot dogs have in common?
They're usually in bread.
You could say ancient Egyptians and JDM car fans are alike--they both worship Datsun.
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?”
Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
I loved the Twin Towers, it's a shame my dad didn't.
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?
He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.