Yo mom's so old, she went into the museum and walked out with a raise.
History Jokes
What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.
If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.
What do Marie Antoinette and 2005-2012 Korn have in common?
They're both Headless.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plain!
"Bippity Boppity Boop! Bill Cosby's coming for you!"
Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?
Rip Van Tinkle.
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: 9/11 victims. They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
What do royals and hot dogs have in common?
They're usually in bread.
Jokes about communism aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
You could say ancient Egyptians and JDM car fans are alike--they both worship Datsun.
What do you call a prehistoric crow? Crow-Magnon.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
My father was a great pilot. He died on 9/11.
What war did the black community win?
The Obama era. Only to lose to a smarter white person.
Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."
Long live the queeโOh wait...
I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.
What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?
They always getting hit.
