Him jokes
I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.
I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.
"When God sends me to hell... I want him to hesitate." -Techno
How do you get "Dick" from Richard?
Ask him nicely.
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
I asked my friend what happened to him?
His balance shifted.
A man walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink. I gave him a glass of ice.
I had a friend named Wemiyoe... We call him "we me you."
Why can't Stephen Hawking go metal detecting?
Because when it beeps, it's him!
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels! We'll see him soon.
I saw a man today wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid."
I told him, "You know, that's not very nice."
He looked at me and said, "I'm with stupid, too."
There is a ghost baseball game and one team loses because of one player so they start booing him!
My dad and I were playing hide and seek. I still haven’t found him. It’s been 15 years.
Jack and his kids went to the lake, and his mother wants him to go swimming. You know what he says? "Back where you came from!"
Ever wondered how Jesus got rid of the cross that killed him?
Burned it in a hellish fire to make some firewood.
Why did the pig decline to go to the farmer's house?
He would take him to a "pignic."
The Pope drives around in a glass box, or as I like to call him, a sniper's dream.
"Hey, kid, why are you so fat?"
"Why did you insult him? That's not nice."
"It won't matter, he's deaf."
When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."
Don’t blame Bush; he is white. It couldn’t have been him.
Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?
It gives him gas.