Him jokes

I asked my friend what happened to him?

His balance shifted.

"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me."

We never saw him again.

One time I was with my uncle. He said to me to pass him the marble on the floor. All I heard was my butt clapping with his sausage.

Don’t blame Bush; he is white. It couldn’t have been him.

Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?

It gives him gas.

"Hey, kid, why are you so fat?"

"Why did you insult him? That's not nice."

"It won't matter, he's deaf."

Why are orphans always on the toilet?

Because they don't have anyone to give them some toilet paper!

There has to be someone that hates watersharky. He curses at you if you say one thing about his friends or him. He just is mean and needs to leave.

A zebra couldn't find any grass. Then he saw a monkey cooking. He thought to steal a little, but he was burned in the fore, and the smoke was all over him. But when he went to the ocean, it was still there, and zebras are stuck in this style forever.

Who left him hanging?

My emo friend tried to hi-five a tree. It left him hanging.

Why'd my grandpa fall over?

'Cause I clapped his cheeks, fool!

The Pope drives around in a glass box, or as I like to call him, a sniper's dream.

When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."

How do you stop a school shooter from killing you?

Tell him you don’t believe in dog.

A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"

And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"

I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"

After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.

"Lock him up, you know, Trump!"

My little brother is scared of ghosts so I won't let him watch Bayern today.

Okay, I may be strict, but I won't let Tapindowski give my son a heart attack. His shocking ghosting performance today is a danger to my family and I'll ask UEFA to investigate the matter.

Your dad left you because he went for milk.

*1,000,000 years later*

Her: Dad come back!

Him: FBI open up!