Him jokes

I was bullying Stephen Hawking. I told him, "Why not stand up for yourself?"

How do you make an orphan clap until his hands bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.

One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.

Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."

Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"

One day an orphan went to jail, and a big dude went behind him and said, "I want you." The orphan said, "Finally!"

If my son was a real man, I wouldn't have caught him fucking another man.

My job is so amazing.

Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.

I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.

I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!

The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.

What does the egg do after the pan told him a joke?

He cracked up!

My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!

What do you and Joe Biden have in common?

Nobody loves you or him.

The toothbrush says, "I have the worst job in the whole world."

The toilet paper behind him says, "Yeah, right."

Why did my dad leave me and my mum?

I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"

I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.

This mute kid was getting made fun of. I told him to speak up for himself.

It's so sad that Stephen Hawking has a whole category on here about him and he can't stand up for himself.

How do you get an orphan's hands to bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home!

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.

Now we call him hot wheels.

Why does Aaron chug beer on a Wednesday?

Because his dad beats him every single day because he has scoliosis.