Him jokes

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Steve!"

"Steve who?"

Steve cries, aware that his grandmother's Alzheimer's has reached a point where she can no longer remember him.

He might have been a Fortnite player. Respect him.

My mom told me that she and the owner of a Chinese restaurant made a deal. Now we get free Chinese food. So I ask my mom why do we get free Chinese food? Then my mom said, "I love him long time."

God- make a grumpy old man president.

Angel- why?

G- cause I said so-name him Trump.

A- okay.

G- make him not pay taxes.

A- okay...

Fast forward to 2020

G- you know that grumpy old man?

A- yea...

G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.

A- Krona.

G- exactly.

A- why do you hate humans so much?

G- because I can.

There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.

So last night I went on a taxi and I showed them your photo. All they said was I could ride him, it would be expensive though, since from his eyebrows to hairline is at least £100.

Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?

Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.

Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.

Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.

Why does Little Johnny hate hot dogs?

It reminds him of last night.

I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt, I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was, but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said, “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them?” We then decided to aid him.

As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”

DAMN YOU PESSI!

I pushed the disabled kid into a fire, then called him "Hot Wheels."

Face the truth, Jake could have went on the door, but Rose wanted him to die.

What do you do when a French kid steals your pencil?

Load your MP-40 and tell him that you give him a history lesson on WWII.

Stephen Hawking was in a house fire. When he got out, people called him "Hot Wheels."

A gingerbread man walks into the doctor’s office with a broken arm. He asks the doctor, “Doc, what should I do? My arm is broken!”

The doctor then looks at him and says, “Have you tried icing?”

How do you win an argument against an emo kid?

Give him a gun, he'll just shoot himself.

Why does rapboat like underage girls? Cos grown ass girls are too clever for him.

Why did Greg go mad? Because Stephen stalked him.

I saw a cyclist in the road today, so I ran over him and he said in a robotic voice, "SHUTTING DOWN!"

I put my fish on a leash so I could teach him to walk. Then I took him out for a walk. Then, when I put him back in the tank, he stopped moving.