Him jokes

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.

Now we call him hot wheels.

Hey, that's the thing my grandpa has. They say that to treat it, I should call him a bitch!

Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because he had no body to go with.

How did the flapjack feel when syrup was drizzled on him?

Butter.

My friend bought a Tom Holland blanket and I said, "Well, now you're sleeping with him."

My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!

Why does Aaron chug beer on a Wednesday?

Because his dad beats him every single day because he has scoliosis.

The school shooter points the gun at the emo kid. While the shooter tries to shoot him, the emo kid dodges the bullets like in the Matrix and takes the gun away from the shooter and shoots himself.

I brought a cow and named him Mayo.

Mayo Neighs!

One day an orphan went to jail, and a big dude went behind him and said, "I want you." The orphan said, "Finally!"

I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.

I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!

My job is so amazing.

Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.

Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.

One day at school, little Johnny was not listening, so the teacher came up to him.

Teacher: "At the end of this ruler is someone dumb."

Little Johnny: "Miss, which end were you referring to?"

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

The kid was a bit sad, so he was blue.

Teacher asked him, "Why are you so blue?"

The kid replied, "I'm not sad."

Teacher said, "No, your face actually blue."

How do you make an orphan clap until his hands bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

What do you call a person with no arms and legs?

You can call him whatever you want; he's not coming.

I was bullying Stephen Hawking. I told him, "Why not stand up for yourself?"

Lil Nas X is so gay, I would fuck him in the Old Town Road.