My grandfather told me I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Him Jokes
The kid was a bit sad, so he was blue.
Teacher asked him, "Why are you so blue?"
The kid replied, "I'm not sad."
Teacher said, "No, your face actually blue."
It's so sad that Stephen Hawking has a whole category on here about him and he can't stand up for himself.
How do you get an orphan's hands to bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home!
Myla, what did you do for Father's Day?
Myla: I went to a restaurant.
Timmy, what did you do for Father's Day?
Timmy: I went to a concert.
Olivia, what did you do for Father's Day?
Olivia: Talked to him through an ouija board.
Why did my dad leave me and my mum?
I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"
What do you and Joe Biden have in common?
Nobody loves you or him.
I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.
This mute kid was getting made fun of. I told him to speak up for himself.
My friend has a shovel made of gold. I guess you could call him a gold digger.
Please go subscribe to Kane Brown, people; he has good songs. Please go subscribe to him, please.
Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
The orphan had to earn money because he/she didn't have parents to give him/her an allowance.
Why did the skeleton never get cold? Because it went right through him!
I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.
I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."
I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.
Life is better without my dad annoying me (him smacking me, screaming for something useless, limiting my screen time, and much more).
God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:
God: No, I don’t want to.
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."
