Him jokes
How did the flapjack feel when syrup was drizzled on him?
Butter.
I brought a cow and named him Mayo.
Mayo Neighs!
The kid was a bit sad, so he was blue.
Teacher asked him, "Why are you so blue?"
The kid replied, "I'm not sad."
Teacher said, "No, your face actually blue."
A man goes for a pee in a haunted house.
He unzips his pants at the urinal when a man dressed as a goblin chuckles next to him. "You got a small dick, buddy," the man says to him.
My grandfather told me I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I saw a small kid crying, so I asked him, "Where's your mom?" but he started crying, so I left the funeral. 🙂🙂
A dog found a bone. Then he was walking happily across the street, and he saw a bridge. He decided to walk on the bridge. He saw his reflection and thought it was another dog. Then he barked at him, and the bone fell in the river. The dog said, "What a fool I have been," and walked away.
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Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.
My friend has a shovel made of gold. I guess you could call him a gold digger.
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
The orphan had to earn money because he/she didn't have parents to give him/her an allowance.
I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.
I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."
Why did the skeleton never get cold? Because it went right through him!
What happened when a hammer punished the nail?
He hit him.
My friend thinks he is funny.
He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.
A bowman walked into a throne room, and he bowed to him.
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.
I once met a skeleton. I asked if I could tell him a joke. He agreed. I told it to him. He found it quite “humerus”.