Hes jokes

My brother is ugly. One time he stuck his head out the window. The police arrested for mooning.

Kid: What is the biggest mistake you made in your life?

Parents: Go look above the bathroom sink.

Kid goes and looks, but then he realizes.

Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen.

"Are those brownies I smell?" he asks.

"Indeed, they are," he was told.

"Gee," he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts!"

A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol, and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these. He replies with, "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."

I was exploring a haunted mansion when I encountered a ghost named Pristiano Penaldo. He asked if I supported Burnley as he wanted to statpad against me. Luckily, I pulled out my trusty Liverpool shirt, and he disappeared. Shame on you, Penaldo.

One hat told another hat to stay behind, and he will go on a-head.

I offered to share a meal with a homeless person once, but he said, "Piss off and buy your own!"

I bought some sneakers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin' all day.

Why is the thief so good at basketball? Because he can shoot, steal, and run.

So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.

He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.

Why can't Stephen Hawking be a Rocket League car? Because he can't jump for an aerial.

They say Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn't cry.

What is the fastest thing in the world?

James Charles when he sees little boys.

Little Johnny walked into his house. He heard a banging sound from up above and decided to investigate. He opened the door to his parents' room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door. He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.

What’s the difference between emos and Hitler?

Hitler didn’t post on social media when he wanted to kill himself.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming.

Why does the adopted kid like playing GTA? Because he wants to be wanted.

My uncle can't walk straight. I think it's because he's gay.

I met a kid with Down syndrome the other day. He told me he was into rock music. He told me his favorite song was "Down With The Syndrome." Kinda drooled while attempting to sing it.

I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."