Hes Jokes

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Q)What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim ? A) Robert Drowney JR.

a man was in a court room, the judge said, ''what should this mans punishment be?'' a random guy ''OFF WITH HIS HEAD'' judge ''he shall give head to every man in this room'' the guy ''WAIT THATS NOT WHAT I SAID!!!''

Why did the kid drop his icecream?

He got hit by a bus.

Why did Steven Hawking only tell one-liners?

Because he couldn't do standup.

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How did the Shaggy defence become successful for JD Vance?

He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!

I was on the Oregon trail with my friend's brother carl. he got cholera, so we threw him off the wagon. when we came back, he was having a seizure and pooping uncontrollably. it was pretty cholerious.

i saw a kid on the side of the rode covered in rags and asked if he was a orphan he said what gave me away i said your parents

What did the cop say after he shot the ginger? "I guess orange is the new black"

Shit! My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs! I've been his customer for 4 years, but I had no idea he was a barber.

A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.

“Super Power Beer,” he says.

“Oh, yeah? I doubt it?”

Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, and lands with no damage what so ever. He walks back into the bar.

“Amazing!” the man says. “Let me have some!” The man grabs the beer. He drinks it, jumps off the roof —and falls 15 stories to the ground. Splat. The barman says. “You know, you’re a real idiot when you’re drunk, Superman.”

Why was Hitler bad at math?

He could only count to nein.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months she woke. She asked the doctor "hows the baby?" "You had twins" the doctor replied. "Your brother named them" the woman said *oh no not my brother what did he call them?" "He called the girl Denise" "what about the boy" the woman asked the doctor said "denephew"

Francis Pope, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and a little boy were one a falling airplane. Their were 3 parachutes. Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps off the plane saying, “The world needs my leadership!” Barack Obama grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world”, so he jumps off the plane. At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. The Pope says to the boy, “take the last parachute, I am too old and I’m going to die soon one day.” The little boy says, “actually their are two, you see, Donald Trump took my backpack.”