Herring Jokes

Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony stuck a feather in her hat and called it an

Unughppppthh

My wife complained about me being childish. So I told her to get out of my fort

I went up the temp girl and slapped her tests and said- “I like ya cut g”

yo mama so fat flash couldnt run around her

A young Greek couple got married, and at their wedding... ...the mother of the bride took the bride aside for a quick chat.

"My sweet," she said, "you're now a woman. I'm so proud. Some advice for you now that you're married: Greek men are very particular, and at some point when you're making love to your new husband, he might suggest that you 'turn around,' if you know what I mean. If that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable, do not feel pressured to say yes."

The bride thanked her mother for the advice, and the wedding continued. That night, as she and her husband consummated the marriage, she was mildly surprised to learn that he never asked her to 'turn around.'

They spent a beautiful week together on their honeymoon and made love many times. But still, to her mild surprise, her husband never asked her to 'turn around.'

Their one year anniversary arrived, and they made love to celebrate the milestone. But again, to her mild surprise, the husband never asked her to 'turn around.' This continued for years: their second anniversary, third, fourth...

Finally, on their fifth anniversary, her husband started getting romantic with her in bed and said, "Honey, we've been married for five years. I was thinking we maybe try something new. I thought this time you could 'turn around,' if you know what I mean."

She replied, emphatically,"No! No, I do not do that, I am not that kind of woman!"

Without getting defensive, her husband simply said, "That's all well and good, honey. But I thought you said you wanted children?"

I got up one day my neighbor was in my house and was going to take me, and my mom out. I show my mom and my neighbor a trick. They both liked it. I ask my neighbor do you know any tricks he said yes, in matter of fact I could tell you what your mom had for breakfast. I said how well my neighbor lick my mom ass, and ate her pussy out in front me. He told me my mom had pancakes. So we were in the car I ask my neighbor How did you know what my mom had pancakes for breakfast. My neighbor said well that is what your mom made me while we were waiting for you to get up.

My sister thinks she sooooo smart, she said that the only food that makes you cry is onions therefore I threw a coconut her.

I asked what was her favourite type of magic she said “the one you make”

What did the mom say when her child came out? "The head was so big"

When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.

So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" - Photography Studio

yo mama so fat that if we cut her open we could stop world hunger

My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden. He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, " You have to dig a little."

One time their was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track a girl said excuse me can you move please I’m trying than the man stopped her sentence and said how is your t shirt so clean than she said back easy hung it up

My Mum texted me she had lost her phone

Step on ur small sister foot she will always open her mouth like a dustbin

A boy walks in to class with shirt, pants, underwear, and socks teacher says “where have you been” the boy says on a peach hill.

Another boy walks in with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks teacher says “Where have you been” boy says on a peach hill.

Then a girl walk in a the teacher says “ And where on earth have you been” the girl says “ well you see...” then teacher stops her and says “ let me guess on a peach hill” girl says “ no on 2 big cucumbers.

Ariana Grande was in the store and when she pustest her groecy she said "Thank you, next"

what's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again

The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii then I met my girl zendaya on board she was shaking her ass and playing with her penis then she ask me hey you wanna make love in the cabin? i said sure sweet thang gave me her number kiss me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.