Herring jokes
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.
The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"
Yo momma's so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology letter.
Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.
Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.
Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.
Yo mama's so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
Memes
My little brother at three did this and it did not end well for him
I was walking and I saw a girl crying, and she told me to take her dollhouse and I asked why. She said because I don't have one.
Yo mama so fat, a bombing and 89 stories didn't kill her.
Big Mom is so fat, Trafalgar Law can’t make enough room for her!
My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."
Yo mama is so fat that when she was at school, they needed a satellite to take her school photo.
What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage.
Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.
What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15?
A MAGAzine.
What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸
cock teaser
Helen threw up gang signs her whole life and didn't know.
A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"
Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?
Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.
He's got a massive f*cking cock, Ayew, Ayew. He tucks it in his football sock, Ayew, Ayew. Shagged a bird and now she's dead, Swung his cock around her head, Jordan Ayew Palace number nine.
The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"
Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.
...
I guess her rubber broke too.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Because they found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment!