Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?
Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.
He's got a massive f*cking cock, Ayew, Ayew. He tucks it in his football sock, Ayew, Ayew. Shagged a bird and now she's dead, Swung his cock around her head, Jordan Ayew Palace number nine.
The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"
Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.
...
I guess her rubber broke too.
Yo mama is so fat that when she was at school, they needed a satellite to take her school photo.
A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"
I was walking and I saw a girl crying, and she told me to take her dollhouse and I asked why. She said because I don't have one.
Yo mama so fat, a bombing and 89 stories didn't kill her.
My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."
Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.
The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"
Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.
How do you know if a chick is too fat?
If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," He was just asking her to move.
Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.
What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15?
A MAGAzine.
What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸
cock teaser
If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."
Yo momma's so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology letter.
Helen threw up gang signs her whole life and didn't know.
