Herring jokes
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
Yo mama so fat,
Donald Trump himself tried to use her as his border wall in 2016.
Memes
joe mama roast
Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.
Yo momma's so poor, she chases a garbage truck with a grocery list in her hand.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. She came crawling back!
Yo mama so fat, she costs 15 elixir, and 3 inferno towers can't kill her!
Why did the white girl come back from Africa?
Because there was no water for her to drink. I'm black.
Why was Helen Keller slurring her fingers?
She was drunk.
Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?
She thought her grandma was trying to flex.
An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.
Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!
Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.
Doctor: I didn’t.
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.