First date be like:
Me: I work with animals every day.
Her: Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?
Me: I'm a butcher.
Sally had (69) boobs witch was (2,2,2) many (69222)so she went to the doctor on (51)st street ( 6922251) whom gave her pills she took (x8) times a day and now she is boobless
what hits the ground first a apple or a emo girl..... the rope would catch her
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money bartender says you gotta do 3 task he takes the shot of Jack and the customer says what are the tasks he says the 1st one is but the 1st 1 is I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth and you gotta pull it he says all right what's the 2nd 1 he said I got a big old girl upstairs that aint had no loving in a long time you gotta make her smile he takes another shot of Jack he said all right what's the 3rd 1 he said you see that horse outside you gotta make him laugh and cry Guy goes upstairs goes out back comes out to the front comes back in the other customer said give him the jar The guy says I took care of that lady's tooth and I made that alligator smile well how'd you make the horse laugh he said easy i told him I had a bigger deck then him bartender says how did you make him cry he said easy I showed him
Yo mama so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall. The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty. After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks. Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!".
how do you confuse a blonde? paint yourself green and throw forks at her
yo mama so fat when god said let there be light! she blocked the sun.now we call her the moon
my sister said that i need to stop with the audited butt:
i got it from her when i was born
yo mama so fat she asked for a water bed and they gave her the ocean
Yesterday I asked an emo girl if shes jealous when her phone dies.
A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.
She gets home eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something, not sure what she said the girl replies with "ok".
The young teen was gonna head to bed wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight she lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say "Hunny I'm home", she doesn't bother to say ok.
Later when she decides to sleep she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door that she lost her keys. :)
-Dark_Humor
What did the creep do when the woman said “make yourself at home”? He hid in her attic
disease technically means "lack of ease", so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease that's what elliot rodger did
Yo mama so fat the Egyptians modeled the pyramids based on her
How did Helen Keller parents punish her?
They told her to go find the light.
joe mama so dumb i took a picture of her last christmas and it is still printing
Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer she went and put a log in it.
jo mama is so fat I left her printing last year and she is still printing
Yo Mama so fat when I pushed her into the jacuzzi it caused a level 8 tsunami.
