A girl in my class started barking and I yelled out "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her and I felt bad after school I asked to drive her home and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one I yelled " THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car
An eight year old girl struggles to breath as she lies on a hospital bed and waits for the doctor to come. After the doctor comes he pulls his cock out of her mouth and she can breathe much better.
A married woman asked her husband if he saw future then the husband answered her " I have no Eye dear"
Hellen Keller went to go grab her bouncy balls. Man: Ouch
how do you kill Hellen Keller take her on a walk of a cliff.
A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day”. The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie? ” the teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s b*tch.”
I love when I could run throw the grass and feel the wind on my face. Then my mom told me to get off VR and then I wheeled myself to her
Your mama so stupid that she put a ruler under her pillow to see how long she slept
I like my girlfriends new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one 😀
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said "I know u wanna" Jill said yes, lifted up her dress and then they had some fun but stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?" Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
Myq sister told only onions make you u cry so i alway hit her back when she hit me but i hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 murdered 37 children and 41 adults during the ages of 31-35 years old. She was then sentenced to a 35 year sentence( Colombian stuff) and came out 70 years old. She then continued to go on a spree and murder 41 more people, in 2 months. 3 years later, 6 stabbed 7 as they were friends. 6 was not sentenced, but deemed a hero. He never forgets that moment. Her soul not floating above, but screaming from the torture it's receiving.
I got fired my first day at the bank this old lady told me to check her balance so I pushed her over
my grand mother made her passage on the titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.
i saw a girl crying i asked her were are your parents she cried as I got kicked out of the orphanage
DARK ALERT******** a girl went 2 the doctor the doctor said she had 1yr to live she shot the doctor and the judge gave her 15 yrs. DARK ALERT********
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period? One is finger-licking good and the other is just a fast-food restaurant.
What did the Queen Bee says to her bees? Beehive yourselves!
POV: Wine Taster in hell
I was, sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. this silhouette begins to speak, "you have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. how do you plead?" the man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit. "guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like I will take any punishment you deem fit." very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request." out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. the boy says "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." the boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, Taste like chicken."
