Herring jokes

Yo mama is so fat that Thanos had to snap his fingers twice to get her out of existence.

Yo mama so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out the way.

My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:

roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.

Yo mama so big, her belt size said "equator."

My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.

Yo mama so fat,

Donald Trump himself tried to use her as his border wall in 2016.

Yo mama so rich,

her blood type is 24 karat GOLD!

I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.

A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up like an altar boy.

What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?

Fill her closet with see-through clothes.

Yo mama is so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

Yo mama so fat that her belt size is the Equator.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Why did the white girl come back from Africa?

Because there was no water for her to drink. I'm black.

Yo mama so stupid, her favorite color is clear.

My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my other girlfriend.

My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.

"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."

My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.