Herring jokes

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "You know you wanna."

Jill said yes and lifted up her dress. They had some fun.

But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.

This anorexic girl wanted to fight me. I told her that I would roast her, but she didn't have any meat.

Yo mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology.

Why did the fly fly?

Because the spider spied her!

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high, grabbed Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."

Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

My wife accused me of being immature, so I kicked her out of my "boys fort."

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.

My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"

A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Puerto Rican!"

Then the blonde replies, "OMG, you dirty little slut! How many is a Puerto Rican?"

If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?

He fell for her.

How did Helen Keller burn her cheek? She answered the iron.

How did she burn the other cheek? They called back.

Yo mama is so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.

Why did Sally drop her ice cream?

Because she got hit by a bus.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not Sally.

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?

Because her students were so bright!

What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?

"I'm not a-moosed right now."

What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked?

“Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”

Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?

I really hit the mother lode with you!

Yo mama so ugly,

they won’t give her a vaccine so she can keep wearing her mask.

What did Sally get for her birthday? A football!

Only joking; she hasn't opened the box yet.