Herring jokes

Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?

I really hit the mother lode with you!

What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?

"I'm not a-moosed right now."

This anorexic girl wanted to fight me. I told her that I would roast her, but she didn't have any meat.

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.

If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?

He fell for her.

Where did Sally go during the bombings? Everywhere!

Why didn’t the parents bother looking for her? Because she was in the front and back yard in small chunks! 😂

Yo mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high, grabbed Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."

Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

My wife accused me of being immature, so I kicked her out of my "boys fort."

Hey Gwen, listen, I know you're on this app, fake or not. I love you either way. Please find this faker and finish her off for what she's done, real Gwen.

*You're a real best Gwen*

Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.

Your mom's so fat, Donald Trump built the wall around her.

What do you call a blonde in the freezer?

Her parents named her Jessica, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.

Yo mama is so fat that Naruto couldn’t make enough shadow clones to surround her.

Yo mama is so fat that a whole forest grew on her, but it was sad because she really smells, so the forest died.

Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"

Yo mama so hairy, her knuckles have sideburns.

Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her on Halloween.

Yo mama so hairy, she braids her elbows.

Your momma is so old, when she went to the antique store, they wouldn't let her leave.