Hereness jokes

A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.

She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"

Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.

Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?

What is cheetah's favorite taste to run fast?

Cheetah outta here!

What did kings say when they were made king?

Allah ail (All hail) [insert name here]!

I did 9/11 here's proof https://youtu.be/BVH73TonuG8

*Me walking into the nail salon* Hi, I'm here for my 3:45 appointment.

*Nail tech:* Ok, sweety, come and sit down.

*Me sits down in the chair*

*Nail tech:* You want long nail, short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. Ok.

*gives me short nail* Bro, I asked for long nail, but you said BF, but u look lesbian.

*walks out without paying*

*Nail tech gives money to a customer* There u win.

*customer:* I told u she would.

I am only here because me no like Blues Clues LGBTQ episode as I don’t believe in that. If you do, ok.

And it shouldn’t be a month, the month should be for all of the war veterans, it should be a day for pride. Companies only use this month for money; it’s exploitation because they don’t truly support, unlike me, in which I don’t support it.

Mom: Please eat, baby!

Baby: No!

Mom: Here comes the airplane!

What's a similarity of an orphan and a deaf kid?

They both can't hear their parents.

How do Taliban parents feed their babies?

"Here comes the plane... weeee, BOOM! 💥"

(insert funny joke about a dick here).

Did you laugh? Be honest.

I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:

Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.

Depression: Here, your mom just died.

Me: My mom is already dead.

U can vent here idc.

Can you f**k out of here?

Karen says:

If you're here for a cheap laugh about suicide, I'll give you some real killer jokes!

Open wide, here comes the airplane!

Roses are red, violets are blue, like my hole, Uncle Bill is making me full, better run here he comes!

Two blondes fell down a hole.

One said, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"

The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."

"Bill swift here, you make them, we take them!"