Hereness jokes

Gwen and Prince chat and talk and discuss; we won't bother you! Here! Enjoy!

C'mon guys, I know I'm not the only bored one around here!

We have a new member of staff here today. He has no arms, no legs, and no body. He will be known as "The Head."

Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!

Orphanage protest jokes here!

Anybody here from 4chan?

Clarissa is here with us.

Why doesn't Mexico win any medals in the summer Olympics anymore?

Because all the Mexicans that can run, swim, or jump are already here.

How do terrorists feed their children?

"Here comes the airplane!"

How do terrorists feed their kids?

"Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second one."

Is there a racist jokes page here? I’m not racist, I just want to know.

My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.

I walked up to some Arabs and said "Alawakba," then here came the second tower.

When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."

I went to school on a Saturday. My teacher asked why I am here, so I replied that my brother told me to go to hell.

Two fish in a bowl. First fish asks, "Haven't I seen you around here before?"

The second fish replies, "F**k me, a talking fish!"

Anyone here a spoon?

Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.

Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.

*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...

TFW you're having sex with your German girlfriend and she won't stop telling you her age.