Hereness jokes
Little off topic but...
Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.
Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.
Mum: Fair point.
Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?
What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.
P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.
These two guys were texting each other.
Guy 1: How are you?
Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*
Guy 1: ???
Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)
Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?
"Why are all these orphans here?" said Chris.
"Because their dad went to go get the milk," said MrBeast.
3 Years Later,
"I AM GIVING APPLE IN A SHARE TO EVERY ORPHAN IN THE WORLD, AND I'M ALSO GIVING EACH OF THEM 1000000000000 DOLLARS."
This is whats going to happen to all the junior high girls on here.
What does the mom (or terrorists, fuck that) say for the (twin) towers to eat?
Open wide, here comes the plane!
Welcome to the X Union. Sign up below.
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?
Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.
Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.
What did the British soldiers say while in the trenches? "Damn, it's windy out here!"
What did the one tower say to the other?
"Here comes the airplane!"
With a poke-poke here,
And a poke-poke there,
Here a poke, There a poke, everywhere a poke-poke!
Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim practice, and a bunch of homework, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!
"Push yourself, because no one will do it for you."
Love y'all so much!
"Texas be like it's cold over here over here."
Texas be like everything is bigger here: guns and winter storms!
Aha, tomato macaroni is bad, hahaha.
(I don't even know what on earth I put here, but okay.)
This joke here is the worst.
Friends, gather here.
Samantha, Josephine, Stevie, Jess, Alice, and Alex.
One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”
Why the "hell" is this here?
Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?
Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...