Hereness jokes

On April Fool's, go to an orphanage and tell them that their parents are here to pick them up.

Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?

These two guys were texting each other.

Guy 1: How are you?

Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*

Guy 1: ???

Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)

Friends, gather here.

Samantha, Josephine, Stevie, Jess, Alice, and Alex.

Somebody told me to type "Up" by Cardi B. So here it goes:

Up

One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”

Why the "hell" is this here?

I got to work.

Ben: Oh no, my boss is here. I hate my job and I'm terrified of my boss.

Ben: Uh, hey, hey Mr. Boss.

Boss: Have a nice day.

Ben: Ok, bye!

Boss:??

As you can see here, Jessie is wearing a lot of concealer.

Jessie?

Teacher to Student: You are supposed to be here at 9 am!

Student: Oh, did I miss anything?

Gwen, this needs to stop, so please, this is not a dating website, go on Tinder or something, just not here. Hate me if it makes you feel better, but this is sickening!

Teacher: I was an orphan when I was younger.

Student: Oof.

Teacher: Is anyone not here?

Student: Yes, your parents.

Hi guys, I am starting a Gwen funny club. If you wanna join, then just type so here. Hope you have fun!

Oh, and also can be a Gwen name club for Gwens only!

Let's chat here, Prince.

Hey Prince, let's chat here, okay? Love you!

A hamburgur walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve food here."

Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.

Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.

Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.

Amber: Fine!!!!!

"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."

I would tell you a good joke, but I can’t, so here is a bad one.

I would tell you a joke about a teacher, but she’d kill you at school.

"The f*** am I even doing here?"