Hereness jokes
Open wide, here comes the airplane!
Can you f**k out of here?
Karen says:
You're hairline is like I was so fat Dora the Explorer couldn't find your numbers!
I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:
Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
Memes
(insert funny joke about a dick here).
Did you laugh? Be honest.
So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.
The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"
The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"
For all the online haters on me, comment here, be honest.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce in.
Lettuce in who?
Lettuce in, it's cold out here!
What’s the difference between a mediocre thief and professional thief?
The mediocre thief will say “give me all your money!”
And a professional thief will say “sign here please.”
Do you want to hear a joke?
Never mind, it’s too punny.
Two skeletons meet at the graveyard at noon.
"What the heck are you doing here?"
"I couldn't sleep."
An orphan went up to Nikola Tesla and asked to travel in time. He then saw his parents put him in a building, saying, "You now live here!"
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent.
Ever wonder how a Jehovah’s Witness spreads their word during Covid?
Now that you’re here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?
What does a Jew expecting guests say?
"Oy, vey, are they here yet?"
Angela: Kris, I just met the nicest, sweetest guy ever.
Kristie: Who is he and what is his name?
Angela: His name is Kevin.
Kristie: Kevin? I remember him. He said he had to go to Italy for a meeting, never seen him after that. What the hell is Kevin doing here?
Angela: I don't know.
Wanna hear a joke about pizza?
Never mind, it’s too cheesy! 😅
Wanna hear something twisted?
A pretzel.
I went to kill Biden with poison water and mixed it with my finger, and then licked it. I passed out, and now I'm here.