Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?
So you can read her lips.
Her Jokes
The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. She said: “This essay you’ve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written.”
“Of course it is,” said Johnny. “It’s the same dog.”
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
Why did the transgender man only eat salad?
Because he was a "her" before.
Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.
My sister says I’m annoying, or that’s what I read in her diary.
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
The lady says, "Come again!"
The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."
Yo momma so fat that she don't need a backpack. She keeps her things in her Lagrangian points.
Did you know Hellen Keller had a doll house in her backyard? Neither did she.
Why did the chicken crack the safe?
To get to her nest egg.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
What do you call a lady with a pyramid on her head?
mummy
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.
Yo mama's so big, her belt size is "equator."
Yo mama is so ugly that the Grinch fell out when he saw her!
I had a great day today because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table, and the teacher screamed, "Allison, how would you like it if I banged you on the table?"
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricant.
Your mum is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke.
I got LEGOs for Christmas, and my friend got her father's headstone.
