Her jokes
Did you know Hellen Keller had a doll house in her backyard? Neither did she.
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
Why is it hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
Because you have to drop the bomb twice for her to get it.
Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?
So you can read her lips.
The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. She said: “This essay you’ve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written.”
“Of course it is,” said Johnny. “It’s the same dog.”
Found this girl in Hawaii.
Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."
An eight-year-old girl struggles to breathe as she lies on a hospital bed and waits for the doctor to come. After the doctor comes, he pulls his cock out of her mouth, and she can breathe much better.
Yo mama so fat, her cheeks are in different time zones.
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
If her age is on the clock, she can sit on my cock.
Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.
What are chocolate's preferred gender pronouns?
Her-she.
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.
What do you call a lady with a pyramid on her head?
mummy
Yo momma so fat that she don't need a backpack. She keeps her things in her Lagrangian points.
Why did the chicken crack the safe?
To get to her nest egg.
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.