Her jokes

A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.

The lady says, "Come again!"

The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."

Found this girl in Hawaii.

Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."

An eight-year-old girl struggles to breathe as she lies on a hospital bed and waits for the doctor to come. After the doctor comes, he pulls his cock out of her mouth, and she can breathe much better.

Why did the transgender man only eat salad?

Because he was a "her" before.

Why is it hard to break up with a Japanese girl?

Because you have to drop the bomb twice for her to get it.

Why do horny, deaf girls wear tight pants?

So you can read her lips.

The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. She said: “This essay you’ve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written.”

“Of course it is,” said Johnny. “It’s the same dog.”

My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.

Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.

Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her titties, I got a mouth full of knee.

She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!

"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.

That's what Elliot Rodger did.

A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"

She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"

He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."

A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"

She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.

He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"

My sister says I’m annoying, or that’s what I read in her diary.

Why did the chicken crack the safe?

To get to her nest egg.

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Did you know Hellen Keller had a doll house in her backyard? Neither did she.

Why was the turtle looking at her phone?

She wanted to take a shellfie.

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.