Her jokes
Yo mama so fat, the Egyptians modeled the pyramids based on her.
Ur momma's so fat that when she became a spy her codename was OObese.
So, one day I walk up to my sister and tell her that she is adopted because she doesn't look like anyone in the family. She starts to cry. My mom asks why she's crying, and I say I told her she was adopted and I was there for the adoption, and we have papers. It was all a lie. She is not adopted, and everything is fine.
Why did the Mexican man throw his wife out of the window...
Ta kill her.
A woman was sitting alone at a bar, and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sad. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.
The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks, they decided to go back to her place.
When they arrived, she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time, she burst open her bedroom door and said, "I hope you're ready!"
She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand, and a 12-inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.
The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"
She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."
The dude replied, "While you were in there, I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants, and came on your curtains. It's been fun!"
real.
My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.
She said help, so I kicked her.
I met a lewd nude in Bermuda
Who thought she was shrewd: I was shrewder;
She thought it quite crude
To be wooed in the nude;
I pursued her, subdued her, and screwed her.
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
DARK ALERT********
A girl went to the doctor. The doctor said she had one year to live. She shot the doctor, and the judge gave her 15 years.
DARK ALERT********
Leo is like Monday mornings... everyone dreads her, but we're forced to deal with her anyway.
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!
Yo mama is so dumb, her reflection said, "Who are you?"
My sister Wani is a dwarf, so I sit on her as a chair.
After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.
During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."
Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"
I saw a homeless dude and gave him $1.
I saw a homeless woman and gave her $0.77.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.
She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
There was this intern that worked at an orphanage, and she burnt it down. Luckily, she doesn't have to tell her parents.
Yo mama so fat, her weight is angry grandpa's subscriber count.