Her Jokes

I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...

Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.

Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her tit, I got a mouthful of knee.

Your mom is just like Rapunzel, but instead of letting down her hair, she lets everyone down! OHHHHH!

A man sees a girl crying and asks her what's wrong.

The girl replied, "Everyone keeps making fun of me."

"You should tell your parents," I replied back.

The girl started crying even more. That's when I got confused and left the orphanage.

Your mom is so ugly that even Medusa turned to stone from looking at her!

A screenshot of a tumblr post showing three separate comments. The first post says "Learned today that my ex-husband buys his weed from a lesbian dominatrix that banned him from DJing at her sex club because he kept playing his version of 'Lean on Me' made entirely of samples of Homer saying 'd'oh'." The second comment says "AMAZING". The third comment says "Every word in that sentence is better than the last".

Yo mamma so dumb, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

It was my cousin's birthday and my mom said what should we get her? I said a rope.

I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!

Your dad left you because he went for milk.

*1,000,000 years later*

Her: Dad come back!

Him: FBI open up!

One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?

Yo mama is so ugly, when I took a picture of her, my phone screen cracked.

What is the worst thing that Nazis have done?

Adolf Hit-her.

Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff?

Tequila.

Yo mama is so pretty, she could get in a car crash because boys are staring at her.

Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.

A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."