Her jokes

Yo mamma so dumb, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

It was my cousin's birthday and my mom said what should we get her? I said a rope.

I scanned an emo girl's arm the other day. Now I own her, only 3.99 with tax. That's a steal and a half, woopeeee!

Your dad left you because he went for milk.

*1,000,000 years later*

Her: Dad come back!

Him: FBI open up!

One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?

Yo mama is so ugly, when I took a picture of her, my phone screen cracked.

What is the worst thing that Nazis have done?

Adolf Hit-her.

Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff?

Tequila.

Yo mama is so pretty, she could get in a car crash because boys are staring at her.

Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.

A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."

Her: Eat my ass!

Me: Yes, chef!

Did you know that Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head and Shoulders on the car dashboard.

Me: "WYD?"

Her: "Just dealing with a lot: depression, anxiety, and the feeling that I'll never be enough."

Me: "Without me? Lol"

*having sex on lexapro*

Her: Cum for me, baby!

Me: I'm trying!

Your mom is so fat nobody can compare her to anything.

Yo mama so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology.

I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.

What does Tiffany call Chucky when he is staring at her Barbie?

"Eye torture!"

Yo mama so fat, she can't pick up a dumbbell... the dumbbell pick her up.