A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably. Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"
Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."
Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"
Demon: "You a smoker?"
Guy: "You better believe it."
Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"
Guy: "Golly"
Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."
Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."
Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."
Guy: "Wow."
Demon: "You like to do drugs?"
Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."
Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"
Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"
Demon: "You gay?"
Guy: "Uh, no."
Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."
why did the orphan say help? he needed his brother
What did one Koala say to the other?
Help me I'm burning. Aaaugh!!! Oh fuck oh fuck I'm on fire!! AAAAuuggh!
disabled people can help wold to get printed copy of " LEANING TOWER OF PISA "
exactly leaned at an angle
The patient says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.
The doctor says, "Next, please."
Ads for meds be like: Chloroform its Chloroform helps with itchy eyes :side affects may include Acute Flaccid Myelitis (AFM) AIDS (HIV/AIDS) Alphaviruses. Alzheimer's Disease. Alzheimer's Diseases (Spanish) Arboviral Encephalitis. Arthritis. Babesiois.Cancer Unintentional injuries Chronic lower respiratory disease. ... Stroke and cerebrovascular diseases. ... Alzheimer's disease. ... Diabetes. ... Influenza and pneumonia.
How do yo secks
With penis!
jajajajja funny joke epic laugh I have been detained please help
I love the word legs.
Wanna help me spread the word?
Kids:I need help! Mom:help your balls
A shop assistant is helping a little boy who can't find his mum in the supermarket.
He asks the boy "what's she like?'"
The boy says "Big Cocks and vodka"
“I need help goerge sink”said Jimmy “What is it”said Goerge Sink “Can you wash my dishes”said Jimmy
I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good. Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.
These nine kids were being bullied by these 10 guys in an ally. So, I thought I would help.
It was 9/11 all over again.
Man goes to a doctor says he's having problems shitting so the doctor gives him so enama and says he needs to do it a few times at home but does the first one for him so the guy bends over the table lubs him up and shoves it deep in him and he yells. so later the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enama so he bends over she lubs him up puts a hand on his shouler and she shoves it up there and he starts screaming and cussing and the wife asks did I hurt u? He said no I just realized when the doctor did it he had both hands on my shoulders
why did the chicken cross the road ?to help steven hawkings cross
Past, present, and future walked into a bar...things got tense :). Pls send help, yet once again :).
