Help Jokes

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What do butts say. Help me I’m getting wiped clean

When your mum tells you to help your granny And you in plug life support

A man was almost about to drown. A boat say "Do u need help?" And he said no. After the boat left, another boat came to the sea. And they asked if he needed help. And he said no. And he asked God "Why didn't u help me?" God said "I sended u 2 big boats, you dummy!

Hello, welcome to Joe’s Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I help you today?

Me: *writes kahoot about me then finishes* Me and friend: *plays kahoot* A question: When is (my name) happy? Friend: *puts a good answer and gets wrong* Answer: Never, only a portion. Friend: Do you need help?

(This isnt a joke)

There was a homeless family in need for a room. But, The guy said no more rooms because they were Homeless......... So, they got into a barn..... And, the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. And, Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, That little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.

JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!

A man named Icide ruined my life. I asked a friend if he would help me sue him. He said yes. But for some reason, he killed me. All I wanted was for someone to help me sue-Icide...

So little Johnny was waking to the bath room and he said grandma said why is the blood coming out of your ###😥 I need to call help

“One silent evening, a man walks to his fridge to get some food. He sets out a fork and napkin on the table. He reaches to grab a salad topped with olives and cheese. He sets the food down on the table and begins to add tomatoes, condiments, and...“ He is interrupted. “Why are you saying this aloud?” A young boy asks his father. The father replies with, “You wanted to know how to live on your own. But I guess experience is more helpful,” he says as he rushes the child out of the front door.

Why does former president Donald J. Trump still want the Mexican government to help him to build a wall to keep them out because he is a christain nationalist on steroids