So little Johnny was walking to the bathroom, and he said, "Grandma," said, "why is the blood coming out of your ###😥 I need to call help."
Help Jokes
Who did Stephen call when he crashed?... The geek squad.
"One silent evening, a man walks to his fridge to get some food. He sets out a fork and napkin on the table. He reaches to grab a salad topped with olives and cheese. He sets the food down on the table and begins to add tomatoes, condiments, and..." He is interrupted. "Why are you saying this aloud?" A young boy asks his father. The father replies with, "You wanted to know how to live on your own, but I guess experience is more helpful," he says as he rushes the child out of the front door.
Why does former president Donald J. Trump still want the Mexican government to help him to build a wall to keep them out because he is a Christian nationalist on steroids?
What is it that a 🤔 😳 👀 😕 physicality handicapped ♿ male prostitute can do on his own very well without getting any help from his male friends that are gay like himself?
Perform fellatio on a 👨 👨 👬 gay man.
"GWEN, can you help me? There's some person messing with me. There name is JADSA, something like that. Look for a joke named Jayden."
If a WOMAN gets RAPED, RUN INTO THE SECNE AND HELP HER.
You guys are literally mentally ill. You should get some help. This is so disgusting, ew!
I'm a poor Indian, please help me.
Guys, I have a dilemma. I'm a beta, please help!
Well, a lock and a key were going on vacation, but the key said, "Help me, I'm stuck!" and then the lock said, "I think I am in lock-shary."
After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,
Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"
Oil is soooooooo soooooooo cute 😍 ☺ 💓 💕 💖 ✨ 😍
I can't help it. Images look crazy but oil is soooooo cute!
Why can't orphans go on vacation?
The last time they did, they fell in the toilet and had no one to help them out. Ugh!
"Prince, please help me. This faker is driving me crazy!"
Thank you, anonymous user, for helping me with math a few months ago.
Now I got a 31 on the ACT.
Help! I got my brother pregnant.
I can make a living with the "Treat Yo self" budget.
Yet I can’t use the "Help yo self" budget.
"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"
A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?
It was a failure because:
South Americans don’t know the word “please.”
Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”
Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”
Balkans don’t know the word “give.”
Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”
Africans don’t know the word “food.”
Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”
Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”
Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”
