Help jokes

This isn't a joke.

There was a homeless family in need of a room, but the guy said no more rooms because they were homeless. So, they got into a barn, and the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, that little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.

JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!

Who did Stephen call when he crashed?... The geek squad.

So little Johnny was walking to the bathroom, and he said, "Grandma," said, "why is the blood coming out of your ###😥 I need to call help."

"One silent evening, a man walks to his fridge to get some food. He sets out a fork and napkin on the table. He reaches to grab a salad topped with olives and cheese. He sets the food down on the table and begins to add tomatoes, condiments, and..." He is interrupted. "Why are you saying this aloud?" A young boy asks his father. The father replies with, "You wanted to know how to live on your own, but I guess experience is more helpful," he says as he rushes the child out of the front door.

Why does former president Donald J. Trump still want the Mexican government to help him to build a wall to keep them out because he is a Christian nationalist on steroids?

"GWEN, can you help me? There's some person messing with me. There name is JADSA, something like that. Look for a joke named Jayden."

What is it that a 🤔 😳 👀 😕 physicality handicapped ♿ male prostitute can do on his own very well without getting any help from his male friends that are gay like himself?

Perform fellatio on a 👨 👨 👬 gay man.

If a WOMAN gets RAPED, RUN INTO THE SECNE AND HELP HER.

I'm a poor Indian, please help me.

I can make a living with the "Treat Yo self" budget.

Yet I can’t use the "Help yo self" budget.

Help! I got my brother pregnant.

Why can't orphans go on vacation?

The last time they did, they fell in the toilet and had no one to help them out. Ugh!

After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,

Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"

Oil is soooooooo soooooooo cute 😍 ☺ 💓 💕 💖 ✨ 😍

I can't help it. Images look crazy but oil is soooooo cute!

Well, a lock and a key were going on vacation, but the key said, "Help me, I'm stuck!" and then the lock said, "I think I am in lock-shary."

Guys, I have a dilemma. I'm a beta, please help!

"Prince, please help me. This faker is driving me crazy!"

Thank you, anonymous user, for helping me with math a few months ago.

Now I got a 31 on the ACT.

You guys are literally mentally ill. You should get some help. This is so disgusting, ew!

"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"