Height jokes
What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.
Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?
Because 7 wanted to bring two knives for survival, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hated him, and didn’t have benign intentions.
Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)
My mom told me yesterday that in this Valentine, we should take our love to new heights. So tomorrow I'm prepared to fuck her in "The Hot Seat" position.
People always told me to open doors for elders. So I opened the plane door 5,000 feet up in the air for a grandma.
Why do women hate having sex with midgets?
Because of their shortcomings.
Knock knock. Who's there? A boy. A boy who? A boy who can't reach the doorbell knocking at your door.
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run a race? Because the grass tickles their balls.
I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out, "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?"
What was the last thing going through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
What is the difference between a dwarf and a midget?
Very little.
The reason why people are short is because their dad never came back with the milk.
My friends were really annoying me at my birthday party, so I decided to pop a balloon to spook them.
Maybe going on a hot air balloon ride wasn't the best idea.
I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.
What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?
A JUMBO shrimp.
What is the most dangerous mountain? Kilimanjaro.
A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were. I responded, "My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft."
What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"
You can't be short and depressed because you are compressed.