Height jokes

My sister is so short she can't walk.

Yo mama so short that when she plays mini golf, it's just called golf.

"I asked my friend what his height is?" He answered, "I'm sans'sational!"

How many people can jump higher than a mountain? None. Mountains can't jump.

You're so short, you have to yell to talk to people!

When you say, "I'm high!"

But then you fall off.

My friend: "Hey, I see a dwarf!"

Me: "Where?"

Friend: "In front of me."

Why am I still alive?

Pills give me stomachaches, blood makes me faint, height frightens me...

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

Suck a big dick.

Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!

Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?

It goes right over their head.

Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison?

He's a small medium at large.

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."

Why does Barry Bannan laugh when he plays football?

Because the grass tickles his balls because he's so short.

Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the concert?

Because he wanted to reach new heights in his performance.

An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.

Mfs be saying Kobe is good at basketball cause he is 6 feet, ye 6 feet underground.

One time I walked into a room and I saw a man and a dwarf, and I soon found out that the man was the dwarf's father, and I noticed that the dwarf really looked up to him.

Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors?

Because you can’t look up to them.