Height jokes
People always told me to open doors for elders. So I opened the plane door 5,000 feet up in the air for a grandma.
Knock knock. Who's there? A boy. A boy who? A boy who can't reach the doorbell knocking at your door.
Why do women hate having sex with midgets?
Because of their shortcomings.
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run a race? Because the grass tickles their balls.
My mom told me yesterday that in this Valentine, we should take our love to new heights. So tomorrow I'm prepared to fuck her in "The Hot Seat" position.
Memes
I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out, "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?"
I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.
The reason why people are short is because their dad never came back with the milk.
What is the difference between a dwarf and a midget?
Very little.
My friends were really annoying me at my birthday party, so I decided to pop a balloon to spook them.
Maybe going on a hot air balloon ride wasn't the best idea.
What is the most dangerous mountain? Kilimanjaro.
What was the last thing going through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were. I responded, "My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft."
What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"
You can't be short and depressed because you are compressed.
I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.
An old lady was low on money because she had spent all of her money on clothes.
So she decided to go to the bank. She walked up to the guy at the desk. She asked if he could check her balance. He asked a few questions to the old lady, like her weight and her height. He asked her if she had done any exercise recently. She was very confused. She got angry and asked the man again to check her balance. So he stood up, walked next to her and pushed her over. He came to the conclusion that she had a low balance.
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?