Height jokes

Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors?

Because you can’t look up to them.

What did the kangaroo say to the elephant? Hi up there!

Yo man, stand up.

*short person stands*

No, seriously man, stand up!

How do you piss off a midget?

Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.

Yo momma so short... You can see her feet on her driver's license photo!

My short friend called me a scrub, even though he was the one below me.

Why are short people so angry?? Cause they're closer to hell.

I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.

A blondie and a redneck jumped off a building. Which one will land first?

The redneck because the blonde will ask for directions.

"I asked my friend what his height is?" He answered, "I'm sans'sational!"

The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.

Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison?

He's a small medium at large.

If I grew a nanometer taller for every 2/10 woman expecting a 6’3”+ guy, I would be considered attractive.💀

I'm about to tell a dwarf joke, see how short that was.

Why don't dwarfs have cars?

Because they can't get in the door.

What type of horse can jump higher than a house?

All houses can't jump.

Q: How tall was Hitler's grass? A: *Hitler salute* about this high!

Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldn’t find a cow tall enough to have a shower.

Mr. Smith lived in an apartment. In the apartment, he went to the elevator and went to the 16th floor. Then he went to the 21st floor by 5 stairs every morning. Why did he do that?

Because he was too short! So he pressed the highest button he could and walked to his apartment.

I ran into a dwarf, and he said, “Well, I’m not happy.”

Me: Then which one are you?