Height jokes
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
I could never date a midget.
We would never see eye to eye.
If I grew a nanometer taller for every 2/10 woman expecting a 6’3”+ guy, I would be considered attractive.💀
Two Australians walk into a bar. They run into the ceiling fan immediately.
Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.
My friend: "Hey, I see a dwarf!"
Me: "Where?"
Friend: "In front of me."
Ya gotta hand it to short people...
What can jump the highest?
Emo kids, some are still in the air.
Why don't dwarfs have cars?
Because they can't get in the door.
Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.
I'm Tall.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
How do you piss off a midget?
Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.
What was the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
Lololol get it? They fell from like 100 feet.
My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."
The only problem being short and gay is that whenever I try to tell people I'm top in my relationship, they don't believe me because I'm shorter than the person I'm dating, like, WTF?
Why do midgets need a lot of books at school? So they can reach the top of the desk.
I don't ignore dwarfs, I just overlook them.
Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder instead of being breastfed? Because they are too short.
lmao why do people think they can fly?