Height jokes
I hate child murderers, they're always so high-pitched.
What is the difference between a plane and a helicopter?
A plane hits a building, but a helicopter hits the floor.
What is the tallest building?
A library 📚
It has the most stories.
Why don't midgets use tampons?
Answer: They are always tripping over the string.
I asked my midget neighbor if he wanted a lift. He told me to "Fuck off!!!" I thought, what a cheeky cunt and zipped my backpack up and walked away.
Real
Why couldn’t the dwarf husband make his wife pregnant?
Because of his short cummings.
When a midget smokes weed, does it get medium?
I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs.
Simply because they look up to me.
What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!
I saw a dwarf scaling down a prison wall. I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending."
Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."
Off the nearby cliff.
What was the last thing to go through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
Why do short people laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
The dwarf who couldn’t reach the doorbell.
Me: I look up to you.
Friend: Wow, thanks!
Me: But in general cuz your so tall.
Why do dwarfs hate fast food restaurants? Cause most of them have medium and large.
Do you think midgets start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
My brother called me short and ugly, so I called him an ambulance.
You're so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn't tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.