Height jokes
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Perform fellatio.
If a midget does meth, does he get high or get medium?
Yo mama so short, Super Mario mistook her for a Goomba and jumped on her head.
"Mine is 3 inches."
"That's not very lo..."
"From the ground."
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass is tickling their ballsacks!
You’re so short, you could use a pillow as your bed and still have some wiggle room.
How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three, because it’s the normal person's height.
How tall does the grass grow in Germany?
Zis high!
What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?
You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.
Yo mama so tall, she eats paramedics.
Q: How tall was Hitler's grass? A: *Hitler salute* about this high!
You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.
Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.
Why did I trip over your foot?
Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!
You're so short that you use a ladder to reach a dime.
A man says, "I'm flying!" He realizes he was pushed out of a plane.
I'm about to tell a dwarf joke, see how short that was.
You're so short you could be drowned by heavy rains.
I tell short people to reach for the stars.
They are always a bit short of reach.
Did you hear about the dwarf that had his wallet stolen? Just how low can you get?