Height jokes

Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?

Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.

Give a man a plane ticket, he’ll fly for a day. Push a man out of a plane flying 10,000 miles up, he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

Can bees fly higher than Mt. Everest? No? Actually, they can. Mt. Everest can't fly.

Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.

Midget: Hey! What’s up?

Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!

Why am I still alive?

Pills give me stomachaches, blood makes me faint, height frightens me...

"You raise me up to stand on mountains," said the dwarf pornstar on my penis.

What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?

A JUMBO shrimp.

I'm Tall.

What do you call a tall terrorist? Labomb James.

My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.

So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"

Yo mama so fat, she is 4 feet tall laying down.

Your mama is so short, she does backflips under her bed.

A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.

How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? -- All of them, skyscrapers can't jump.

Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"

Kid: "A leopard."

Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."

Kid: "Broooooooooooo."

It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."

Why do dwarfs laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

How do you piss off a midget?

Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.