Hearing

Hearing jokes

Fart

A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.

When she gets home, her husband puts a blindfold on her and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold, the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing happy birthday!

Man

There was a deaf man. He was deaf. Ha, sucks for him! (sans undertale)

Sister

I call my sister a "fat cow," and she asks me, "Want to hear a joke?" I say, "Sure." She says, "You are the joke!"

Memes

Man

Did you hear about how that deaf man got a ticket?

It's ok, he didn't either!

School shooting

1) Did you hear the one about the school shooting? Actually, I better not... You wouldn't understand, it's aimed more towards a younger audience.

2) 6 was scared cuz 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9/11.

3) 10 dead babies.

Pizza

You want to hear a cheesy pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy!

Hehehehehe.

Helen Keller

Stop joking about Helen Keller so much! It’s rude, poor woman! You all just wait till she hears about this!

Beer

Did you hear that Ted Nugent had a beer thrown at him at one of his shows?

Answer: He was okay. It was a draft, so he dodged it easily!

Midget

Did you hear about the midget who was beaten to death playing volleyball at a nudist colony?

Home

I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"

Kid

Emo kids are so good at kicking football. I hear they have good hang time.

Glitter

Did you hear about the guy that dipped his balls in glitter?

Pretty nuts, huh?

Toy

Did you hear they’re making an Elmo toy to appeal to the Tourette’s crowd?

I believe it’s called the “Tic Me Elmo.”

Popsicle

So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."

Absence

Hey, I haven't been on for like 2 months. I don't know who is still on here or like if everyone left, but yuh, I just decided to come back. Hey.

Book

Did you hear Stephen Hawking has a new book out?

It's about time!