Hearing jokes
Did you hear about the pervert who couldn't decide whether he was into incest or necrophilia?
He killed his mom and then fucked her.
Did you hear about the emo kid who auditioned for the school play?
He made the cut.
Ever heard of rape jokes?
No?
Well, I'll MAKE you hear 'em!
Want to hear a racist joke?
Donald Trump.
Did you hear about the bossy man at the bar? He ordered everyone around.
Did you hear that Joe contracted Sugondese Ligma on his trip to Suggon, and now he won’t be able to make it to Saw Con?
Did you hear about the guy that posts all of the "Hairline Jokes"?
Answer: Yeah, he's a COMPLETE IDIOT!
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.
Ok, wanna hear another one? Okay. Knock knock. (Who's there?) The chicken from the other joke.
Girl, come here, my parents aren't home.
Orphan: Mine are never.
Wanna hear a short joke? Well duh, I mean that's why you're on here... Well, here one...
My life.
Wanna hear the car joke?
Nah, it's too fast for you.
I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."
Stephen Hawking drove too far from the wall and unplugged.
He also forgot to pay the power bill.
If you replaced the boss in Portal with a boy, you would hear Stephen Hawking.
A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.
When she gets home, her husband puts a blindfold on her and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold, the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing happy birthday!
There was a deaf man. He was deaf. Ha, sucks for him! (sans undertale)
I call my sister a "fat cow," and she asks me, "Want to hear a joke?" I say, "Sure." She says, "You are the joke!"
Did you hear about how that deaf man got a ticket?
It's ok, he didn't either!
In the French school, four sentences must be written. Fritz heard his mother say, "Close the door!"
Fritz went to his uncle and heard, "Yes, I'll put it there."
Then he came to his brother who said, "They call me Superman, hahaha!"
Finally, his sister looked at a photo and said, "Wow!"
The next day, the teacher said, "Okay, Fritz, it's your turn. Finish eating and take out the trash!" Fritz said, "Close the door!"
The teacher got angry and said, "I want to see the principal." Fritz replied, "Yes, my friend, I am leaving you."
The teacher asked, "I have forgotten your name, what is it?" Fritz said, "I'm Superman! I'm Superman! You're nothing!"
"Who do you think I am?" asked the teacher, who had become very angry. Fritz replied, "Wow!"
Stop joking about Helen Keller so much! It’s rude, poor woman! You all just wait till she hears about this!