Hearing jokes

Did you hear about the pervert who couldn't decide whether he was into incest or necrophilia?

He killed his mom and then fucked her.

Did you hear about the bossy man at the bar? He ordered everyone around.

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

Girl, come here, my parents aren't home.

Orphan: Mine are never.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.

Ok, wanna hear another one? Okay. Knock knock. (Who's there?) The chicken from the other joke.

Wanna hear a short joke? Well duh, I mean that's why you're on here... Well, here one...

My life.

I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."

Wanna hear the car joke?

Nah, it's too fast for you.

Stephen Hawking drove too far from the wall and unplugged.

He also forgot to pay the power bill.

If you replaced the boss in Portal with a boy, you would hear Stephen Hawking.

Did you hear about the guy that posts all of the "Hairline Jokes"?

Answer: Yeah, he's a COMPLETE IDIOT!

Did you hear that Joe contracted Sugondese Ligma on his trip to Suggon, and now he won’t be able to make it to Saw Con?

A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.

When she gets home, her husband puts a blindfold on her and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold, the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing happy birthday!

Want to hear a racist joke?

Donald Trump.

There was a deaf man. He was deaf. Ha, sucks for him! (sans undertale)

I call my sister a "fat cow," and she asks me, "Want to hear a joke?" I say, "Sure." She says, "You are the joke!"

Did you hear about how that deaf man got a ticket?

It's ok, he didn't either!

Stop joking about Helen Keller so much! It’s rude, poor woman! You all just wait till she hears about this!

1) Did you hear the one about the school shooting? Actually, I better not... You wouldn't understand, it's aimed more towards a younger audience.

2) 6 was scared cuz 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9/11.

3) 10 dead babies.

You want to hear a cheesy pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy!

Hehehehehe.

Did you hear about the gay guy who got kicked off the golf course?

He was playing with too many strokes.