Hearing jokes
What did the DJ name his son?
Eric.
Did you hear Biden went to the ER?
He's having a little trouble with his Putin.
Did you hear the pickle joke?
It's actually a really big dill.
Wanna hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.
What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
I can make a word with those: "DICK".
"Bill? Bill?" Bill hears faintly in the distance.
Bill Nye snapped back into reality only to find he had peed all over the set.
Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.
Why did the orphan go to church?
To hear some "foster" parenting advice.
What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.
Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.
Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.
There was a deaf man. He was deaf. Ha, sucks for him! (sans undertale)
Hellen Keller once said, "love is not something you see or hear, it is something you feel," but of course she said it like this "fbfebsovbforbw urbwbwvorb."
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.
Did you hear about the racist sprinkler?
It kept going: "Spick spick spick Chink chink chink!"
You hear about Rapboats' time in prison? He kept droppin' the soap on purpose.
Did you hear about the emo kid who auditioned for the school play?
He made the cut.
Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."
Why can you never hear bunnies having sex? Because they have cotton balls.
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.