Hearing jokes
You want to hear a cheesy pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy!
Hehehehehe.
Stop joking about Helen Keller so much! It’s rude, poor woman! You all just wait till she hears about this!
Did you hear that Ted Nugent had a beer thrown at him at one of his shows?
Answer: He was okay. It was a draft, so he dodged it easily!
Did you hear about the midget who was beaten to death playing volleyball at a nudist colony?
I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"
Emo kids are so good at kicking football. I hear they have good hang time.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
Poor guy really needs some space.
Did you hear about the bad joke? No? It hasn't been made up yet. HAHAHAHAHAHA
Did you hear about the guy that dipped his balls in glitter?
Pretty nuts, huh?
Did you hear they’re making an Elmo toy to appeal to the Tourette’s crowd?
I believe it’s called the “Tic Me Elmo.”
So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."
Hey, I haven't been on for like 2 months. I don't know who is still on here or like if everyone left, but yuh, I just decided to come back. Hey.
Did you hear Stephen Hawking has a new book out?
It's about time!
Did you hear about the nurse who couldn’t swim?
She ended up under the doc[tor].
Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.
Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.
Falco: Wat...
Did you all hear about the newest gay celebrity couple? Yeah, John Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzjohn.
You hear that? That’s the sound of me not caring.
Did you hear about the new drink commemorating Princess Diana?
It had nine shots and seven chasers!
Q: Wanna hear a bad cat joke?
A: Just kitten!
Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?
He got 12 months.
Worst joke ever.