Hearing jokes

Did you hear about how that deaf man got a ticket?

It's ok, he didn't either!

I call my sister a "fat cow," and she asks me, "Want to hear a joke?" I say, "Sure." She says, "You are the joke!"

In the French school, four sentences must be written. Fritz heard his mother say, "Close the door!"

Fritz went to his uncle and heard, "Yes, I'll put it there."

Then he came to his brother who said, "They call me Superman, hahaha!"

Finally, his sister looked at a photo and said, "Wow!"

The next day, the teacher said, "Okay, Fritz, it's your turn. Finish eating and take out the trash!" Fritz said, "Close the door!"

The teacher got angry and said, "I want to see the principal." Fritz replied, "Yes, my friend, I am leaving you."

The teacher asked, "I have forgotten your name, what is it?" Fritz said, "I'm Superman! I'm Superman! You're nothing!"

"Who do you think I am?" asked the teacher, who had become very angry. Fritz replied, "Wow!"

1) Did you hear the one about the school shooting? Actually, I better not... You wouldn't understand, it's aimed more towards a younger audience.

2) 6 was scared cuz 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9/11.

3) 10 dead babies.

Stop joking about Helen Keller so much! It’s rude, poor woman! You all just wait till she hears about this!

You want to hear a cheesy pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy!

Hehehehehe.

Did you hear about the midget who was beaten to death playing volleyball at a nudist colony?

Did you hear about the bad joke? No? It hasn't been made up yet. HAHAHAHAHAHA

I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"

Emo kids are so good at kicking football. I hear they have good hang time.

Did you hear they’re making an Elmo toy to appeal to the Tourette’s crowd?

I believe it’s called the “Tic Me Elmo.”

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

Poor guy really needs some space.

So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."

Hey, I haven't been on for like 2 months. I don't know who is still on here or like if everyone left, but yuh, I just decided to come back. Hey.

Did you hear Stephen Hawking has a new book out?

It's about time!

Q: Wanna hear a bad cat joke?

A: Just kitten!

Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.

Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.

Falco: Wat...

Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?

I guess he was a little deranged.

Did you hear about the gay guy who got kicked off the golf course?

He was playing with too many strokes.

You hear that? That’s the sound of me not caring.