Hearing jokes
Stop joking about Helen Keller so much! It’s rude, poor woman! You all just wait till she hears about this!
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?
He got 12 months.
Worst joke ever.
Did you hear about the needle and thread shop?
Never mind, it was needle-ess.
Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died? He lost WiFi connection.
Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his horse and blew his whistle!
Want to hear something that’ll make you smile? Your face muscles.
Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.
Did you hear they found a cure for autism? It's called Zyklon B.
Light it up blue 🔵
Wanna hear a joke?
My life.
Teacher: I was an orphan as a child.
Student: Sorry to hear.
Teacher: Is anyone missing today?
Student: Your parents.
It's this girl named Deaf, what a weird name, but I know that 'cause I was ear hustling.
But anyway, everytime I call her, she doesn't answer. I wanna clap some cheeks tonight, how could she hate me when she don't know me?
Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.
The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear.
“I never want you to use language like that again. Where on earth did you pick it up?”
“From my father,” said Johnny.
“Well, he should be ashamed of himself. And it’s no reason for you to talk like that. You don’t even know what it means.”
“I do,” said Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”
I love working with animals, especially when I get to hear their cries of help.
Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.
Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?
She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.